zack snyder cut

The Zack Snyder Cut of Justice League is Finally Being Released So You Can All See How Terrible He Is At Making Movies

Justice League is one of the worst movies ever created. The entire DC Universe is trash but Justice League was so awful that it shut down the entire extended universe. Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck quit the franchise because they were embarrassed being associated with it.

Weirdo fans who couldn’t wrap their heads around that disaster of a movie have been campaigning for years that Warner Bros release the Zack Snyder cut of this film. See, Snyder directed Man of Steel and Batman v. Superman—two awful movies—and was set to complete his vision with Justice League before having to drop out after his daughter’s suicide.

Joss Whedon took over the project and did the best he could to salvage the absolute pile of dog shit that Snyder left behind. The result was Justice League: a movie that Henry Cavill was so disinterested in that he refused to shave the mustache he grew to film a totally different movie. Cavill was SUPERMAN and didn’t even care. But yea sure, Zack Snyder leaving was the problem here. Ok.

Fans have been rapid for this dumb ass movie. Every single day I go on Twitter I see #ReleaseTheSnyderCut trending to the point where it’s become some strange political identity as if the film studio is taking their rights away and silencing a great filmmaker.

Enter HBO Max, the new streaming service that has announced that they will finally be releasing the Zack Snyder cut in 2021. Vomit emoji.

People love blaming big bad studios when movies stink. Oh, it’s interference. Executives are ruining the genius director’s vision. OR, the genius director has no idea how to make good movies and the studio interference was needed to stop his nonsense.

Do you realize how much say the studio has in Marvel movies? All of it. All of the say. Yet somehow, all they do is produce great movies. Even their worst movies are better than DC’s. Studios get involved in Oscar-winning movies. Justice League isn’t the only movie ever effected by a studio.

Do you want to know why Justice League sucks? Zack Snyder’s vision for the DC Universe to be the opposite of Marvel where every scene is absent of color and everything’s gray and on fire for no reason.

And even more so, the characters are wildly unlikable. He decided to build an entire movie universe around his version of Superman that seemed to hate people and was burdened by his powers which is an interesting version of Supermanif done correctly. And it wasn’t done correctly.

But then Zack decided to bring in Batman and Wonder Woman and made them reluctant angry heroes too. Batman was brutal and MURDERED shoplifters and Wonder Woman quit completely. She wanted nothing to do with being a hero. So now the three main characters are entering Justice League and none of them even fucking like being heroes.

Anddddd Superman is dead.

Zack Snyder killed Superman before Justice Leaguea movie about Superman. But he wasn’t killed because the story called for it. He killed Superman because after two hours of smashing his action figures together, he thought it would be cool to kill Superman.

Snyder is a loser.

I don’t want to run through all of his trash films because I don’t want to accidentally contract hepatitis but let’s talk about 2011 smash hit, Sucker Punch.

Sucker Punch is a movie about a girl in the 1960s who is accused of murdering her little sister so she gets sent to a mental institution. To cope with her imprisonment, she imagines she’s a sex slave in a brothel and every time she envisions herself performing a strip show it turns into a massive action set-piece where she fights samurai and robots and steampunk stuff.

Just absolute shit. I’m describing the texture of shit.

I think it’s important for me to state that I love DC Comics. I am not attempting to say comic book movie fans are nerds and I’m over here in sunglasses typing with my left hand and holding a motorcycle helmet in my right. I, too, am a nerd.

I just hate this obsession with the Zack Snyder cut as if this brilliant filmmaker was being muzzled by the Gestapo.

Let’s give the actual great filmmakers the opportunity to direct these movies. There’s a reason why people praise Patty Jenkins’s Wonder Woman. One director knows how to make good movies and the other made fucking SUCKER PUNCH.

So you people finally got your Zack Snyder cut. Congrats. HBO Max just tricked an entire dumb internet community into purchasing subscriptions to watch an even worse version of Justice League than the awful Justice League movie we’ve already received.

Enjoy.

AND WHY DOES AQUAMAN WEAR LEATHER PANTS UNDERWATER. I hate you, Zack.

 

 

 


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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