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Elly De La Cruz Was Created in a Lab To Crush Baseballs

Elly De La Cruz has hit a homer in 4 straight games and has reached base safely in 18 straight games going back to last season.

elly de la cruz

On Friday night, the Cincinnati Reds pounded on the Chicago White Sox winning 11-1 to keep pace in a stacked NL Central. A big part of Cincinnati’s victory was the power of second-year shortstop, Elly De La Cruz, who hit his 4th homer of the season continually his streak of 4 consecutive games with a homer.

Elly is 6-foot-5, 200-lb with a deep hatred of baseballs. He hates them so much that whenever one is thrown in his general direction, he has to hit them so hard they land in trays of chicken fingers in the concession stands.

One of the homers from his 4-game home run streak was an inside-the-parker which is supposed to be a rare play but it’s just something Elly can do if he gets his full 8 hours of sleep the night before.

Cincinnati might have themselves a little squad this season. Their lead-off hitter, Jonathan India, drew 4 walks on Friday night. He ranks 3rd in MLB in walks.

Will Benson, Christian Encarnacion-Strand and Spencer Steer are a craaazy 2-3-4 in the lineup. Spencer Steer leads all of baseball in RBIs while ranking 2nd in OPS, 3rd in OBP, 5th in batting average and 5th in slugging percentage.  Will Benson ranks 4th in doubles.

And then they have Elly De La Cruz who is so quick he teleports from first base to second and smashes baseballs through car windshields.

 

 

Random Stray Thoughts

  • Take everything I sad with a grain of salt. The Reds beat a 2-11 Chicago White Sox team that would struggle against the local beer league softball team.
  • Remember when Yoan Moncada was supposed to be the chosen one and was the key piece in the Chris Sale Red Sox trade? In 8 seasons with the White Sox, Yoan Moncada has exactly 0 All-Star appearances.
  • I live in New York so Francisco Lindor’s struggles dominate most baseball discussions here but Andrew Benintendi is stealing $75 million from the White Sox. He’s battling .140 so far and swings like his dad is making him practice after school when all he wants to do is play Call of Duty with his friends.

 

 

 

Is Elly De La Cruz the MVP of the season so far?  Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Elly De La Cruz should have to play with weighted cleats or something.


 

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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