"Who Want Me?" -Bronny James

I’ll never know what it feels like to follow in your father’s footsteps when your father is the greatest to ever do the thing you are attempting to do. My dad worked for New York State and I’m sure he was good at his job but I wouldn’t say I felt a ton of pressure to be the greatest government employee ever.

Bronny James, who just played his first season at USC, has announced he is entering the transfer portal as well as declaring for the 2024 NBA Draft.

Here’s his well-manicured Instagram post about his decision:

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“I’ve had a year with some ups and downs but all added to growth for me as a man, student and athlete,” James wrote. “I’ve made the decision to enter the NBA Draft while maintaining my college eligibility, and will also be entering the NCAA transfer portal. Thank you to USC for an amazing freshman year, and as always thankful for my family, friends, doctors, athletic trainers and fans for their support.”

My guy averaged 4.8 points a game and he already has the best media team in the business. Kevin Durant may be the greatest scorer in NBA history and he had to apologize for threatening to beat up Michael Rappaport.

But after a nothing season at USC, Bronny has announced he is essentially a free agent ready to play in the NBA, well, ya know, unless none of the 30 NBA teams want him in which case he will awkwardly return to college basketball for whatever university patiently waits for me to go through the entire draft process.

Just like his old man, Bronny is always looking for the best possible playing situation. He should make a Decision II, especially since this time, USC fans won’t be burning his jersey. Nobody has one.

Is Bronny James good enough to be drafted?

This season, Bronny averaged 4.8 points, 2.8 rebounds and 2.1 assists. Ew.

An NBA GM would only waste a draft pick on Bronny for one of two reasons

EITHER

1.) They believe he is a raw athlete with a ton of untapped potential and the pedigree of literally the greatest player of his generation. You’d have to assume some of LeBron’s basketball instincts passed onto his son and hope he sees the floor as 0’s and 1’s the way LeBron does. You ever see Giannis in his rookie season? The man was drafted 13th while looking like one of the aliens from Men in Black. Bronny wouldn’t be the first prospect treated like a mystery box full of what-ifs.

Plus, I keep hearing about how weak this year’s draft is so a front office could choose some random scrub or the famous scrub.

2.) An NBA organization believes that by drafting Bronny James, they will lure LeBron James out of Los Angeles to come play with his son in their shitty city. LeBron very clearly wants to do some NBA version of Ken Griffey and Ken Griffey Jr except there’s a massive problem: Bronny James is NOWHERE near as talented as Ken Griffey Jr.

What should Bronny James do next season?

Sometimes I worry if Bronny even likes basketball as much as he needs to in order to succeed at the next level. His heart exploded over the summer and then he averaged 4 points. I would totally understand if Bronny only plays basketball because he thinks it’ll make his dad happy.

Again, I don’t know what it’s like when your father is the greatest of all time. But we can look at Michael Jordan’s son in an on-again/off-again relationship with Scottie Pippen’s wife as a clear indication of what that level of pressure will do to a kid.

Bronny should retire and focus on being a spoiled rich kid. Run a “foundation” or whatever and vibe out. I bet he has the best pool in Los Angeles. Go play, man. Have you seen how mean people are to Ben Simmons?? You’re LeBron’s son. You are going to get roasted if you average anything less than 40 points a game.

Start a bullshit company and coast. You’re allowed.

Is Bronny James good enough to be on an NBA roster? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Bronny should retire and enjoy his life as a privileged rich kid.