About a lunar cycle ago, Alyssa Thomas faced a 1-game suspension following an uncalled foul against Caitlin Clark, accidentally elbowing Clark above the shoulders in the midst of a fray for the loose ball. No foul was called in the quick action, but after the internet vilified Alyssa Thomas for “attacking” Caitlin, the league stepped […]
Modern politics is a series of body blows dressed like Democracy. Graham Platner should never have been here. We shouldn’t have known who this guy was. There’s a Graham Platner black out drunk at every dive bar, lying to whoever gets trapped in a conversation with them. Never once have I met one of those […]
The Boston Celtics traded their best player to the team that just ended their season in the first round—in exchange for the oldest, most expensive player the Sixers employ. Philadelphia 76ers Receive: F Jaylen Brown Boston Celtics Receive: F Paul George 2028 first round pick 2031 first round pick Two 2nd round picks […]
The New York Knicks secret x-factor, capable of combusting for 20 points on any given night, Landry Shamet solidifies himself into the team core, the Habibi Hero re-signing with a 4-year, $25 million contract, running it back with the boys. Why the Knicks need Landry Shamet Last season, Shamet averaged 9.3 points, 1.8 rebounds, […]
2 years beneath the Karl-Anthony Towns-Mitchell Robinson learning tree, Ariel Hukporti finally ready to leave the nest, heading up the turnpike to start his new life as Joel Embiid’s backup in Philadelphia, signing a 1-year $3.4 million deal with the Sixers. How can the Sixers afford Ariel Hukporti? While most of the team’s mid […]
Following an 8-year bid, culminating into legendary run with the New York Knicks to win the NBA Championship, the perennial 6th man of the year candidate joins the opps in Feway, signing a 3-year, $47.5 million contract with the Boston Celtics. How did Boston afford Mitchell Robinson? Boston burns their mid-level exception on Robinson, […]
Future Hall of Fame talent Alyssa Thomas will begin a 1-game suspension following an uncalled flagrant foul against Caitlin Clark earlier this week. When Caitlin Clark scores 25 points with 10 assists, crickets. When she’s fouled, sound the alarm bells—the WNBA needs a new commissioner; all the women must bend the knee—how dare they attack […]
One night a year, Major League Baseball asks its employees to wear a hat to indicate to their audience, “hey, it’s okay if you are gay”. Yea, it’s corporate gobbledy-gook but the players—many earning millions of dollars—one Gay Pride hat, one time a year, as a signifier all are welcome to come and spend their […]
BREAKING: The Charlotte Hornets are trading star guard LaMelo Ball and Josh Green to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Naz Reid, a 2033 unprotected first-round pick, three first-round pick swaps (2028, 2029, 2030) and three second-round picks (2029, 2032, 2033), sources tell ESPN. pic.twitter.com/lkhXBWHCrA — Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) June 25, 2026 Timberwolves Receive PG […]
Tuesday night, 30 boys joined the work force—drafted into the NBA to pursue dreams, chase ghosts, get hoes and/or cash out. To me, all of those reasons are equally just. Magic Johnson is someone’s GOAT and he balled to get between her legs. I love the NBA. More specifically, I love young men weeping on […]
Welcome to Ceiling/Floor, where we dissect trades, signings, firings and hirings in order to determine the best case and worst case scenarios. Today, the Dallas Mavericks hire Dusty May as their new head coach. BREAKING: University of Michigan coach Dusty May has agreed to become the new head coach of the Dallas Mavericks, sources tell […]
Full trade terms, per ESPN sources: 🏈Rams receive: Myles Garrett 🏈Browns receive: Jared Verse, a 2027 first-round pick, a 2028 2nd and a 2029 3rd. https://t.co/3WdPta3vrz pic.twitter.com/mXq3tUEhdt — Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) June 1, 2026 Rams Receive: DE Myles Garrett Browns Receive: DE Jared Verse 2027 1st-round pick 2028 2nd round pick 2029 3rd-round pick […]
As I gaze at my nonexistent sports media career, writing to the lovely thousands of men and women who read Deadseriousness—but ultimately, a blip on the radar, at the whim of the algorithm—I barely exist. Every day, I want to grab a microphone and say some lame antagonistic shit for attention. It looks so easy. […]
Getting back into this whole soccer thing, just a day after Lionel Messi tapped 3 easy goals for Argentina, one would expect to see his peer, Cristiano Ronaldo, matching the pace, putting Portugal on his back. Portugal tied the DR of Congo 1-1. Midfielder João Neves header in the 6th minute for Portugal. If Neves […]
In Game 4, Victor Wembumblahblah told the New York Knicks backup center, “I’m in your head”. Did Wemby say “ I’m in your head , Boy” 👀😀 pic.twitter.com/Y4tjXDRBhN — AbaKoran (@AbaKoran) June 11, 2026 The Spurs then blew a 29-point lead, Victor commited one of the most embarassing late game turnovers in NBA Finals history, […]
Argentina, the defending champs of the 2022 Qatar World Cup—their first game in the 2026 World Cup hosted in Kansas City, Missouri. Mahomes country. USA, BAYBEEEE. Historically, Argentina’s risen to greatness when given the opportunity by regimes like Qatar and the US. Their first duel—a Group Stage game against Algeria—a team that hasn’t qualified for […]
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