Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Ketel Marte landed on the restricted list after flying with the team for their series against the Boston Red Sox but never arriving at Fenway Park for the game. Set for the DH position, a late, last-second scratch for the newly acquired Lars Nootbar—who kinda sucks, batting .162 with a 63 […]
The Denver Nuggets, an aging squad—old men at the club still trying to take home women—trading the only young, talented, athletic wing on their roster to the Cleveland Cavaliers for a first-round pick in the 2030s, next decade. Nuggets Receive: Cleveland 2031 1st round pick Sacramento 2032 2nd round picl Cavaliers Receive: Peyton […]
This is a special peek of the Deadseriousness newsletter Let’s Get This Dread, in which I, Lester Lee, send exclusive funny, not boring Algorithm slop. Sign up here to get it in your inbox. 10 years fighting the Trojan War, away from my wife, just me and the soldiers. Months, sweating, crafting a 30-foot wooden […]
With the New York Giants only a few weeks from their season-opener against the Dallas Cowboys, they decided to sign the running back who will lead the team in rushing. Former Steelers and Chargers running back will sign a 1-year deal to join a crowded running back room full of his future backups. The New […]
Hiring lawyers to investigate their richest owner and partner of the league, the NBA has determined they don’t know what you’re talking about, everything’s all good, what investigation? you’re being weird, bro, Kawhi? I don’t know her. No further questions. The NBA has found no evidence showing LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer funneled money through […]
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is pointing a gun at fans, warning them their sport—like everything else in this country—is about to get worse, re-establishing his desire to add international expansion teams. “At some point, there will be NFL teams outside the USA. I have no doubt that this will happen one day,” A new record-setting […]
Dodgers star right fielder Kyle Tucker has opted to defer the use of his talents for a later date. The biggest hitter on the free agency market—sports media rooms built around predicting his landing spot, the news cycle in the palm of hands—elects to join the back-to-back World Series champion, signing a 4-year $240m deal […]
It sucks when the bad thing that’s obviously going to happen, happens. When the rain clouds fill skies to inevitably drop water on our scalps. When you drink too much and wake up the next morning feeling exactly as hungover as you expected. New Orleans Saints rookie wide receiver limped into the 2026 draft with […]
The Minnesota Vikings house two quarterbacks. One, a former No. 1 pick who flicks a ball 90 yards down the field with ease, tiny and hurt, sure, but the arm flex mighty. The other, literally the worst quarterback of 2026. Shockingly, it appears Minnesota will be selecting the former as their QB1. JJ McCarthy led […]
On Sunday afternoon, the Yankees best player, in a game where if the team lost, their season would spiral out of control, decided to be the best player on the team. Ben Rice puts the @Yankees ahead in the 10th with a 2-run shot! pic.twitter.com/ZQkEW50Mxq — MLB (@MLB) August 16, 2026 The New York Yankees […]
For all the concern trolling and jaded responses to James Gunn’s DC experiment thus far, he’s the only man with the fortitude to unleash THREE Green Lanterns at us before a single nod to the existence of a Batman. Ryan Reynolds turned the character into a joke, directors weary of even demonstrating Green Lanterns’ powers […]
With the NFL season weeks away, I think I’ll try to give every team a preview, or as many teams as I can before opening night. I will be ignoring preseason, as we all should. Instead, let us ask 7 big questions heading into every team’s 2026 NFL season. Let’s start with the New York […]
St. Louis Cardinals rookie OF Joshua Baez showed up to the first day of the new job and set unattainable productivity standards. Baez inked the record books, hitting 3 homers in his MLB debut—helping the St. Louis Cardinals get their lick back—8-4 win over the Chicago Cubs to tie their final 2026 series 1-1 going […]
Opening Day Tuesday, October 20: Boston Celtics at Detroit Pistons (3:00 pm Eastern time) Philadelphia 76ers at New York Knicks (7:00 pm ET) Oklahoma City Thunder at San Antonio Spurs (9:30 pm ET) 3pm opening day NBA’s first ever 3pm opening game. The league courting ownership from Green Arrow’s rogues gallary, private equity, […]
As a lifelong Major League Baseball fan and more importantly, a depressed writer obsessed with words, finding sports the best outlet to bloodlet those words, I think I’m allowed to call out some 2026 MLB players who, by mid-August, no-called, no-showed the season, disappointing me, the worst thing anyone can do. So here are the […]
In 2022, the National League adopted the designated hitter. One, not nearly enough for the Washington Nationals, moving star shortstop CJ Abrams over to second base after a long season of Abrams having no idea how to play shortstop. -5 Defensive Runs Saved this year, -11 DRS over his career. -17 Outs Above Average this […]
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