FBI combing through his bank records, Mark Walter—who purchased the Los Angeles Lakers a year ago for a record $10 billion—now selling the Lakers for $12 billion to the United States Government. The U.S. Attorney’s Office in Manhattan and the Securities and Exchange Commission are now examining how around $16 billion in loans extended to […]
The Denver Nuggets are adding a 2014 All-Star from the 2009 NBA Draft—37-year-old shooting guard DeMar DeRozan to a 1-year, $3.9M contract. After sending their breakout wing Peyton Watson to Cleveland for a first-round draft pick one day, eventually, Denver found his replacement, the star of a 22-win Kings team that waived him in July […]
The Denver Nuggets, an aging squad—old men at the club still trying to take home women—trading the only young, talented, athletic wing on their roster to the Cleveland Cavaliers for a first-round pick in the 2030s, next decade. Nuggets Receive: Cleveland 2031 1st round pick Sacramento 2032 2nd round picl Cavaliers Receive: Peyton […]
Hiring lawyers to investigate their richest owner and partner of the league, the NBA has determined they don’t know what you’re talking about, everything’s all good, what investigation? you’re being weird, bro, Kawhi? I don’t know her. No further questions. The NBA has found no evidence showing LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer funneled money through […]
Opening Day Tuesday, October 20: Boston Celtics at Detroit Pistons (3:00 pm Eastern time) Philadelphia 76ers at New York Knicks (7:00 pm ET) Oklahoma City Thunder at San Antonio Spurs (9:30 pm ET) 3pm opening day NBA’s first ever 3pm opening game. The league courting ownership from Green Arrow’s rogues gallary, private equity, […]
Draymond Green, one of the first players to make money podcasting for real. Balling nextdoor to Silicon Valley all these years, I reckon Draymond’s stock portfolio impeccable. His money makes money. I know a savvy business mind when I see one. After another disappointing, injury-plagued Warriors season, Draymond Green elected to opt out of the […]
The Lakers won 53 games last season. They won a playoff series, beat Kevin Durant and the Houston Rockets. And only Luka Doncic, Austin Reeves, Jarrad Vanderbilt, Jake LaRavia, Dalton Knecht and Bronny James were allowed back on the team for next season’s campaign. An entire new roster, mostly guys who keep sunscreen at arm’s […]
The Boston Celtics traded their best player to the team that just ended their season in the first round—in exchange for the oldest, most expensive player the Sixers employ. Philadelphia 76ers Receive: F Jaylen Brown Boston Celtics Receive: F Paul George 2028 first round pick 2031 first round pick Two 2nd round picks […]
The New York Knicks secret x-factor, capable of combusting for 20 points on any given night, Landry Shamet solidifies himself into the team core, the Habibi Hero re-signing with a 4-year, $25 million contract, running it back with the boys. Why the Knicks need Landry Shamet Last season, Shamet averaged 9.3 points, 1.8 rebounds, […]
2 years beneath the Karl-Anthony Towns-Mitchell Robinson learning tree, Ariel Hukporti finally ready to leave the nest, heading up the turnpike to start his new life as Joel Embiid’s backup in Philadelphia, signing a 1-year $3.4 million deal with the Sixers. How can the Sixers afford Ariel Hukporti? While most of the team’s mid […]
Following an 8-year bid, culminating into legendary run with the New York Knicks to win the NBA Championship, the perennial 6th man of the year candidate joins the opps in Feway, signing a 3-year, $47.5 million contract with the Boston Celtics. How did Boston afford Mitchell Robinson? Boston burns their mid-level exception on Robinson, […]
BREAKING: The Charlotte Hornets are trading star guard LaMelo Ball and Josh Green to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Naz Reid, a 2033 unprotected first-round pick, three first-round pick swaps (2028, 2029, 2030) and three second-round picks (2029, 2032, 2033), sources tell ESPN. pic.twitter.com/lkhXBWHCrA — Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) June 25, 2026 Timberwolves Receive PG […]
Tuesday night, 30 boys joined the work force—drafted into the NBA to pursue dreams, chase ghosts, get hoes and/or cash out. To me, all of those reasons are equally just. Magic Johnson is someone’s GOAT and he balled to get between her legs. I love the NBA. More specifically, I love young men weeping on […]
Welcome to Ceiling/Floor, where we dissect trades, signings, firings and hirings in order to determine the best case and worst case scenarios. Today, the Dallas Mavericks hire Dusty May as their new head coach. BREAKING: University of Michigan coach Dusty May has agreed to become the new head coach of the Dallas Mavericks, sources tell […]
As I gaze at my nonexistent sports media career, writing to the lovely thousands of men and women who read Deadseriousness—but ultimately, a blip on the radar, at the whim of the algorithm—I barely exist. Every day, I want to grab a microphone and say some lame antagonistic shit for attention. It looks so easy. […]
In Game 4, Victor Wembumblahblah told the New York Knicks backup center, “I’m in your head”. Did Wemby say “ I’m in your head , Boy” 👀😀 pic.twitter.com/Y4tjXDRBhN — AbaKoran (@AbaKoran) June 11, 2026 The Spurs then blew a 29-point lead, Victor commited one of the most embarassing late game turnovers in NBA Finals history, […]
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