Although ESPN reported the NBA found no evidence of cap circumvention, about a month later, SpongeBob, the whole operation under water. That report was false—the NBA did determine the LA Clippers broke the rules and here’s a quick list of all the penalties the Los Angeles Clippers face for violating the league’s salary cap rules: […]
Whenever a billionaire suffers consequences, I’m stunned, head ringing, for at least 24 hours. Steve Ballmer had Mark Cuban yapping with Chat GPT all day, copy pasting his results on Twitter, defending the Clippers owner—”if he did that, he’s the dumbest human being on the planet“, and look at that, Steve Ballmer: The Dumbest Human […]
It’s almost September and Jonathan Kuminga is still a free agent. They’re playing with son. Kuminga’s trapped in a vortex, his career trajectory not in his hands. Dennis Schroder lives in this vortex, never knowing where he’ll work less, always less money offered each time he arrives. Steve Kerr didn’t want Kuminga on the roster—refusing […]
Each NBA offseason, I pray several players lock themselves in the lab to perfect their craft, arriving to the new year bearing gifts, new handles, bags of tricks, like when James Harden went to Houston with an unstoppable step-back three he created hungover in the gym. Here are 10 NBA players I hope lock themselves […]
The NBA regular season and playoffs? That’s their time. The offseason? That’s our time, with Ben Simmons, down here. Workout videos, open gym highlights, looking like 07 LeBron with it. The news reports describing him as the healthiest boy of all time—scientists testing his blood, what mutant gene allows him to dominate the courts. After […]
After a contract buyout from the Dallas Mavericks 4 time NBA champion Klay Thompson is fleeing Texas, home of his famous ex, to sign a 2-year, $11.5m deal with the Miami Heat. Klay’s 2025 on top of the world, on top of the stallion, never not smiling, hand-in-hand with a high-five machine. Ending tragically, publicly, […]
FBI combing through his bank records, Mark Walter—who purchased the Los Angeles Lakers a year ago for a record $10 billion—now selling the Lakers for $12 billion to the United States Government. The U.S. Attorney’s Office in Manhattan and the Securities and Exchange Commission are now examining how around $16 billion in loans extended to […]
The Denver Nuggets are adding a 2014 All-Star from the 2009 NBA Draft—37-year-old shooting guard DeMar DeRozan to a 1-year, $3.9M contract. After sending their breakout wing Peyton Watson to Cleveland for a first-round draft pick one day, eventually, Denver found his replacement, the star of a 22-win Kings team that waived him in July […]
The Denver Nuggets, an aging squad—old men at the club still trying to take home women—trading the only young, talented, athletic wing on their roster to the Cleveland Cavaliers for a first-round pick in the 2030s, next decade. Nuggets Receive: Cleveland 2031 1st round pick Sacramento 2032 2nd round picl Cavaliers Receive: Peyton […]
Hiring lawyers to investigate their richest owner and partner of the league, the NBA has determined they don’t know what you’re talking about, everything’s all good, what investigation? you’re being weird, bro, Kawhi? I don’t know her. No further questions. The NBA has found no evidence showing LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer funneled money through […]
Opening Day Tuesday, October 20: Boston Celtics at Detroit Pistons (3:00 pm Eastern time) Philadelphia 76ers at New York Knicks (7:00 pm ET) Oklahoma City Thunder at San Antonio Spurs (9:30 pm ET) 3pm opening day NBA’s first ever 3pm opening game. The league courting ownership from Green Arrow’s rogues gallary, private equity, […]
Draymond Green, one of the first players to make money podcasting for real. Balling nextdoor to Silicon Valley all these years, I reckon Draymond’s stock portfolio impeccable. His money makes money. I know a savvy business mind when I see one. After another disappointing, injury-plagued Warriors season, Draymond Green elected to opt out of the […]
The Lakers won 53 games last season. They won a playoff series, beat Kevin Durant and the Houston Rockets. And only Luka Doncic, Austin Reeves, Jarrad Vanderbilt, Jake LaRavia, Dalton Knecht and Bronny James were allowed back on the team for next season’s campaign. An entire new roster, mostly guys who keep sunscreen at arm’s […]
The Boston Celtics traded their best player to the team that just ended their season in the first round—in exchange for the oldest, most expensive player the Sixers employ. Philadelphia 76ers Receive: F Jaylen Brown Boston Celtics Receive: F Paul George 2028 first round pick 2031 first round pick Two 2nd round picks […]
The New York Knicks secret x-factor, capable of combusting for 20 points on any given night, Landry Shamet solidifies himself into the team core, the Habibi Hero re-signing with a 4-year, $25 million contract, running it back with the boys. Why the Knicks need Landry Shamet Last season, Shamet averaged 9.3 points, 1.8 rebounds, […]
2 years beneath the Karl-Anthony Towns-Mitchell Robinson learning tree, Ariel Hukporti finally ready to leave the nest, heading up the turnpike to start his new life as Joel Embiid’s backup in Philadelphia, signing a 1-year $3.4 million deal with the Sixers. How can the Sixers afford Ariel Hukporti? While most of the team’s mid […]
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