thelesterlee
I didn’t go out much in college. I somehow snuck into the pre-med program for a science-oriented university in New York. Going to class never made any of my to-do lists since I was pretty much only there to make my parents happy and get out of the house.
But then I moved into dorms and realized everyone in my building was there to learn. I went to Dork University. My Friday nights were spent trying to find MF DOOM freestyles and illegal NBA streams.
Not many girls were in my life but I did meet one girl at the SAC (shout out to the Student Activity Center). It had wifi and the burrito place I liked. I hung out there when all of my suitemates were home in a chatty mood and I wanted to quietly watch Zach Galifianakis’s Live At The Purple Onion on my parent’s Netflix account.
One day at the SAC, I ran into the blonde girl I had met at a fraternity party (or sorority? It was a disgusting event. I don’t recall the details. Lot of dudes passing around a dirt hookah.)
We hit it off at the party. I used to be charming and fun. Now I’m bitter and jaded BUT she and I hung out for hours chatting instead of going to our lectures. I’ve been a bad influence on people forever.
I will never forget the level of confidence she had when she asked me what class I was skipping and I told her Astronomy 105 only for her to crack a smile, almost mocking me, about the class that I took for an easy A.
Again, I went to nerd school so I figured homegirl was about to tell me about some sort of advanced engineering program she was entrenched in but nope, she could not wait to tell me the world was flat.
You can go to Dork University: home of the science geeks and a hot(ish) girl will explain to you that the sky is a projection and you’ll have to nod along out of politeness and loneliness.
Aaron Rodgers Knows The Truth About HIV
Every, say, 4-to-5 weeks, I open up Twitter and see a bunch of folks angrily quote-tweeting a video of Aaron Rodgers Zoom calling into random podcasts, so he can slyly allude to a new conspiracy theory he just learned from a recently watched documentary full of misinformation.
Aaron Rodgers falsely suggests that Dr. Fauci created HIV with the help of the U.S. government. @keithedwards pic.twitter.com/8bBjyYJxRr
— The Intellectualist (@highbrow_nobrow) April 16, 2024
Aaron Rodgers believes Dr. Fauci is a criminal mastermind who has made millions, hand over first, by manufacturing pandemics and creating one singular cure or vaccine for that virus. Dr. Fauci spread HIV to steal $350 million in research money and then hid in the background for 40 years, bidding his time for the right moment to pop back up and hit us with his brand new scam: Coronavirus.
Rodgers backs this up by declaring he can read.
It’s 2024. I don’t necessarily want to get into the minutiae of Covid-19. It’s still never lost on me how many of these conspiracies were birthed because people didn’t want to wear facemasks or stay inside and with our government being so atrocious at helping Americans, folks assumed there were some deeper, darker ulterior motives when in reality, a country that only cares about profits cannot make profits if there are no longer citizens to create their products and more importantly, purchase them.
It wasn’t Anthony Fauci, a man no one’s fucking heard of until 2019, secretly spreading an illness so he can get paid to cure it. No one could enter or leave Australia. That wasn’t because of some unknown US government employee. Stakes were a little bit higher than just Fauci’s bank account.
Who gives a fuck what Aaron Rodgers thinks?
I ended up going out to dinner with the flat earther. She explained to me the world was flat THEN I got her number. We texted all week like she didn’t just reveal she lives in an alternative reality because she still seemed like a good person who simply needed to log off more often.
It’s strange watching one of the greatest quarterbacks in football history not-so-slowly fall down a rabbit hole of fake info and angrily regurgitate the conspiracies he recently just discovered as if we are the idiots for not waking up to the truth he’s unearthed yesterday.
Perhaps it’s the arrogance with which he shares his beliefs rubbing people the wrong way. Maybe it’s because he’s not a hot(ish) blonde we want to smooch. But either way, we have to stop pouring gasoline on this very small flame.
Sure, it’s dangerous for a celebrity to share potentially harmful conspiracies with an increasingly growing audience of people willing to swan dive headfirst into ideas that don’t even make logical or practical sense.
And maybe I have more faith in people than the cynical Aaron Rodgers haters who act as if Rodgers is radicalizing and mobilizing an army of lunatics.
Most people don’t believe Dr. Fauci made up HIV to sell HIV medicine.
And the folks who do believe this stuff aren’t really like, hitting the streets with flamethrowers trying to overthrow the government. At worst, they post weird shit online. At best, it’s just some nonsense to talk about with their friends.
Aaron Rodgers can share all of his Reddit findings. Who cares? Brett Favre is out here literally stealing millions from Mississippi’s welfare funds and we’re freaking out about Rodgers’s thoughts on the moon landing and shit.
I am no longer eating the trash.
Let Rodgers call Joe Biden a pedophile and gleefully list off all the names of the people he thinks hung out with Jeffrey Epstein (the list will conveniently only include left-leaning politicians and celebrities).
Personally, I’m excited for what I predict will be one of the most hilariously terrible quarterback seasons we’ve ever witnessed from a 40-year-old coming off a torn Achilles who is about to play behind a lackluster offensive line for a head coach who doesn’t seem to have anything innovative or special about him.
We need to get ready to endure a lotttttt of odd Aaron Rodgers theories because he’s like, 5 months away from becoming a full-time podcaster.
Free yourself of the need to react to Rodgers. He’s every old guy who sits at the end of the bar alone at 3pm on a Wednesday waiting for someone else to walk in so he can share his thoughts on the trans community. These people are not dangerous.
Just lonely. And wanting to smooch, probably.
Do you think Aaron Rodgers can return to his old form in 2024? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Rodgers is about to be MVP level so I can excite you with my keys like a baby.
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