The Slam Diego Padres Are BACK

Prior to last season, the Padres had developed a reputation for hitting bombs. In 2020, they were given the nickname ‘Slam Diego Padres’ after hitting grand slams in four consecutive games. However in 2023, with their most talented roster in years, the team finished only 2 games above .500 and missed the playoffs.

On Friday night, the Padres beat the Dodgers 8-7 in an 11-inning home run derby. Jackson Merrill hit the go-ahead single in extra innings but Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr, Jake Cronenworth and Ha-Seong Kim hit homers to restore the feeling in Daygo.

As of right now, the Padres have hit the second-most homers in all of baseball. Last season, their lineup was top-heavy and after trading Juan Soto to the New York Yankees, the team is more balanced. I know it doesn’t make sense for a team to improve once they lose one of the best hitters in the world—especially when you see how much his energy has changed the vibe of the 2024 Yankees—but Soto wants to play in the Bronx and didn’t necessarily choose to be in San Diego. That shit matters.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is batting .290 and already has 5 homers this year. He missed 80 games in 2023 for not showering, getting ringworm and taking HGH medicine instead of just like, using soap and water.

It also helps to call up a potential Rookie of the Year candidate—their center fielder and no. 1 prospect Jackson Merrill—who isn’t even old enough to drink yet. San Diego needs to take advantage of this window before he learns what it’s like to go out, talk until the lights come on at the bar, exchange numbers, text her the next day and get no response because she’s sober now and realizes you’re ugly so you spend the next week checking your phone over and over again while she’s already erased you from her memory.

We also can’t sleep on San Diego quietly trading for the guy who finished 2nd in 2022 Cy Young Voting, Dylan Cease, who’s only given up 4 earned runs in 3 starts so far this season including a scoreless outing against the Chicago Cubs earlier this week.

The Slam Diego Padres vs. Everyone. Personally, between Manny Machado, Xander Bogaerts and Fernando Tatis Jr, I think the team could use a few more shortstops but it’s a long season. I’m sure this front office is calling around the league for more.

Random Stray Thoughts:

Look at this Mookie Betts catch real quick:

WHAT A CATCH BY MOOKIE BETTS 😯

(via @MLB)pic.twitter.com/c2ASSFYVH3

— B/R Walk-Off (@BRWalkoff) April 13, 2024

At 31 years old and a decade as an outfielder, this man woke up one day like “wouldn’t it be funny if I just turned into Omar Vizquel??”

Shohei Ohtani tied Hideki Matsui’s record for the most homers by a Japanese-born player. His interpreter, Ippei Mizuhara, bet Ohtani wouldn’t break the record til May. Don’t worry though, he’s good for the money. Just, uh, let him make a quick call…

Are the Slam Diego Padres back?? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Fernando Tatis Jr should just be allowed to use steroids.