Sammy Sosa was one of the most iconic players of his generation. He sacrificed his body in order to explode baseball for the fans. He chose to shrivel up his own testes to punch 66 homers to the moon in his 1998 home run chase with Mark McGwire that ended with Sosa hoisting the MVP trophy.
But this isn’t about that historic ’98 season. Fuck that. You can get all that insight on that on literally every sports website. We don’t do that here.
Instead, let’s talk about that random ass season when Sammy Sosa was in the AL East playing in Camden Yards out of nowhere.
Whenever a legendary athlete builds his legacy with one franchise, it is always shocking to see them suddenly wearing a different jersey. Not every player gets the Derek Jeter Kobe Bryant treatment. Sometimes you get old and expensive and your organization sends your ass to Baltimore.
On January 28th, 2005, the Chicago Cubs traded Sammy Sosa to the Baltimore Orioles for Jerry Hairston Jr, Mike Fontenot and Dave Crouthers. So many future Hall of Famers in one trade. Dave Crouthers doesn’t have a wikipedia page but that’s because there are sooo many accomplishments and accolades. There’s just not enough bandwidth.
In order to complete the trade, Sammy Sosa had to waive the final year of his contract which isn’t a thing that players do.
Here’s what Sosa said after the move:
“My legacy is there, but I haven’t finished yet. The best of Sammy Sosa is coming now. I wanted to finish my career there, but it didn’t happen. I’m here now in Baltimore and I’m
going to win the crowd.”
“The best of Sammy Sosa is coming now”. Narrator voice: it did not.
Sosa would be joining the 3rd place O’s who won 78 games in 2004. Spoiler: they only won 74 in 2005 and finished 4th in the division. Yikes.
To add a little layer of love for this random ass Sosa season, Sammy joined the one man who came out of the steroid era looking like the biggest asshole of them all.
Rafael fucking Palmeiro. The man who declared in front of steroids that he had never done steroids in a way that sounded like he was offended they had even asked even though he had probably sprinkled HGH in his coffee that morning.
Bold move for the Orioles to build their team around a 40-year old and a 36-year old. I suppose that’s how you guarantee a 4th place finish. In Baltimore’s defense, Sosa was an All-Star the year prior ending the year with 35 homers and 80 RBIs. 35 bombs is a shitload for most hitters but for Sammy, it was his lowest total since 1994.
Sammy Sosa followed that up by hitting only 14 homers with 45 RBIs and a .221 batting average with a .292 on-base percentage. 84 hits. 84 strikeouts. Yikes.
Sosa would only play one more season with the Texas Rangers in 2017 before retiring to become a white man’s penis full time.
The fuck are you thinking?
Sammy Sosa is one of the greatest baseball players to ever pick up a bat, steroids or not. He also happened to randomly play for the Baltimore Orioles at the end of his career for no reason. That was weird.