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New York Mets Sign Jose Bautista To Even The Score. Lester: 1, Jose Bautista: 1

What Happened?

Fuck.

 

Why Does it Matter?

Earlier this week I stood from the highest mountain top and proclaimed Jose Bautista’s career was over after he was cut by the Atlanta Braves. My man was hitting .143 with only 5 home runs which is a lot of homers for like, a second baseman in the league exclusively for his defensive prowess but not for Bautista who only existed in Toronto to hit game-breaking bombs.

He was trash this season.

I had finally conquered the Blue Jays best hitter. The New York Yankees are the best team in baseball and Bautista was out of baseball. Man, life was good for a few days.

Anddddd he’s back. But not only is he back in the majors, he’s playing down the road in Queens. I can’t help but think this was intentional. No doubt in my mind Bautista reads Deadseriousness and signed with the New York Mets to fuck with me.

Not only did he sign with the Mets on Tuesday but he ran straight from LaGuardia Aiport and went 1-for-3 and scored the only run in the Mets 1-5 loss to the Miami Marlins. I see you, Jose. You have my attention.

With David Wright on the roster simply to reap the benefits of having daily medical attention, the Mets need a long-term solution at third base. Josh Donaldson is approaching free agency. If the New York Mets put together the 2014 Toronto Blue Jays with Bautista, Donaldson and Jose Reyes already on the roster, I’m burning Citifield to the ground. No survivors.

IT WAS ALL GOOD JUST A WEEK AGO.

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Jose Bautista purposely signed with the Mets to get inside of my head. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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