Kemba Walker Needs an MVP Trophy and a First Class Ticket Out of Charlotte

THIS IS MY SHIT. All that was missing from Kemba Walker’s historic back-to-back scoring nights was dropping to his back at midcourt and hitting an X-Pac style ‘Suck It’ to the Celtics.

Kemba is on the final year of his contract and I literally just read a headline that said ‘The Charlotte Hornets Should Give Kemba Walker The Max’. No Shit, guy. Kemba is the greatest player in Bobcats history.

It is being reported that Michael Jordan is ‘hellbent‘ on re-signing Kemba.

Based off everything I know about MJ, him being ‘hellbent’ on something means he’s not sleeping, he’s chainsmoking cigars and gambling his life savings on a Russian roulette game surrounded by Vietnamese businessmen and their extremely young wives.

But the question is: Should Kemba Walker stay in Charlotte?

My man dropped 60 points the other day on 61% shooting and the Hornets lost. He scored 60 and the rest of the team scored 59 points combined.

They really have him out here balling with one of the Zeller brothers, Jeremy Lamb and a busted slot machine that Michael Jordan used to have in his old house but didn’t have a space in his new house for so he left it at the team’s practice facility and now it’s averaging 22 minutes a game.

Kemba’s been to the playoffs twice and bounced immediately by the Big 3 in Miami in a SWEEP and a 7-game heartbreaker unstoppable tandem of Goran Dragic and Hassan Whiteside in 2016.

I’ve seen this movie already. If Kemba doesn’t make a move to a real title contender then the world is going to turn on him and blame him for the Hornets’s woes.

Do you see what’s happening to Carmelo Anthony right now?

The New York Knicks couldn’t put a roster together for half a decade and we all blamed Melo for the team’s lack of wins. Sure, we’re all celebrating Kemba but a new shiny object will appear and we’ll all say ‘If Kemba is so good, why can’t he lead this team deep into the playoffs’.

People are dumb.

The Hornets ruined their cap situation by giving insane contracts to Nicolas Batum and Marvin Williams so they don’t even have many options to fix this team. There is one solution: They must free Kemba Walker.

I won’t even say anymore because I assume LeBron is already in Magic Johnson’s office demanding they trade Lonzo for Kemba so by the time I post this article, Kemba will be playing in Los Angeles and being blamed every time the Lakers lose like Kevin Love was. Destiny.






Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Kemba Walker is the best player in the NBA right now. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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