Albert Pujols Says ‘I Don’t Know What’s Going On’ When Asked About Shohei Ohtani Taking His Job At DH

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Pujols told Bob Nightengale of USA Today. “Nobody has told me anything about it. I really don’t know what the whole plan is.

“I just know that I’m here. And my job is to put the uniform on and play. We’ll see what they want me to do.”

“I get myself ready every year to play first base, so I don’t know why everybody is making such a big deal about it,” Pujols said. “People are making it out like I have to learn how to play that position. It’s silly.

“First base is like riding a bike. You don’t have to ride it every day. You can go 20 years without riding it, and first time you might get on it might feel weird, but it comes back.”



Remember when Albert Pujols was literally the best player in the Majors? In 2009, Pujols bat .327 and hit 47 BOMBS and won the NL MVP trophy. Last season, Pujols bat .241 with just 23 homers, which is still a solid amount of home runs but now he’s assed out with the Angels bringing in the modern day Babe Ruth.

Pujols is 38-years old and he is making $30 million until 2022. If he is replaced at designated hitter then his contract is the worst thing in the history of sports. This is literally the reason that guys like Jake Arrieta and Mike Moustakas can’t get signed to long-term deals anymore because Pujols signed a 10-year deal and is about to be a backup to a starting pitcher.

I’ve made it very clear that I think Shohei Ohtani is a bitch. He follows guys like Cliff Lee and David Price that were too big of pussies to play in New York for the Yankees. I was actively rooting for him to fail.

But now I am all in on the Los Angeles Angels leaving Albert Pujols on read and gaslighting him as they give all of his at-bats to Ohtani. I’m more into chaos than grudges and we’ve got chaos in ANAHEIM.

Also, shout out to Pujols thinking he can still play first base. Please pleaseeee throw him out there at first on opening day so we can see him get swallowed by every single ground ball. The opposing team will set the record for most infield singles as Pujols’s slow 38-year old ass gets beat to the bag every. single. time.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Albert Pujols is just about done. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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