2 years beneath the Karl-Anthony Towns-Mitchell Robinson learning tree, Ariel Hukporti finally ready to leave the nest, heading up the turnpike to start his new life as Joel Embiid’s backup in Philadelphia, signing a 1-year $3.4 million deal with the Sixers. How can the Sixers afford Ariel Hukporti? While most of the team’s mid […]
Following an 8-year bid, culminating into legendary run with the New York Knicks to win the NBA Championship, the perennial 6th man of the year candidate joins the opps in Feway, signing a 3-year, $47.5 million contract with the Boston Celtics. How did Boston afford Mitchell Robinson? Boston burns their mid-level exception on Robinson, […]
Future Hall of Fame talent Alyssa Thomas will begin a 1-game suspension following an uncalled flagrant foul against Caitlin Clark earlier this week. When Caitlin Clark scores 25 points with 10 assists, crickets. When she’s fouled, sound the alarm bells—the WNBA needs a new commissioner; all the women must bend the knee—how dare they attack […]
One night a year, Major League Baseball asks its employees to wear a hat to indicate to their audience, “hey, it’s okay if you are gay”. Yea, it’s corporate gobbledy-gook but the players—many earning millions of dollars—one Gay Pride hat, one time a year, as a signifier all are welcome to come and spend their […]
BREAKING: The Charlotte Hornets are trading star guard LaMelo Ball and Josh Green to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Naz Reid, a 2033 unprotected first-round pick, three first-round pick swaps (2028, 2029, 2030) and three second-round picks (2029, 2032, 2033), sources tell ESPN. pic.twitter.com/lkhXBWHCrA — Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) June 25, 2026 Timberwolves Receive PG […]
Tuesday night, 30 boys joined the work force—drafted into the NBA to pursue dreams, chase ghosts, get hoes and/or cash out. To me, all of those reasons are equally just. Magic Johnson is someone’s GOAT and he balled to get between her legs. I love the NBA. More specifically, I love young men weeping on […]
Welcome to Ceiling/Floor, where we dissect trades, signings, firings and hirings in order to determine the best case and worst case scenarios. Today, the Dallas Mavericks hire Dusty May as their new head coach. BREAKING: University of Michigan coach Dusty May has agreed to become the new head coach of the Dallas Mavericks, sources tell […]
Full trade terms, per ESPN sources: 🏈Rams receive: Myles Garrett 🏈Browns receive: Jared Verse, a 2027 first-round pick, a 2028 2nd and a 2029 3rd. https://t.co/3WdPta3vrz pic.twitter.com/mXq3tUEhdt — Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) June 1, 2026 Rams Receive: DE Myles Garrett Browns Receive: DE Jared Verse 2027 1st-round pick 2028 2nd round pick 2029 3rd-round pick […]
As I gaze at my nonexistent sports media career, writing to the lovely thousands of men and women who read Deadseriousness—but ultimately, a blip on the radar, at the whim of the algorithm—I barely exist. Every day, I want to grab a microphone and say some lame antagonistic shit for attention. It looks so easy. […]
Getting back into this whole soccer thing, just a day after Lionel Messi tapped 3 easy goals for Argentina, one would expect to see his peer, Cristiano Ronaldo, matching the pace, putting Portugal on his back. Portugal tied the DR of Congo 1-1. Midfielder João Neves header in the 6th minute for Portugal. If Neves […]
In Game 4, Victor Wembumblahblah told the New York Knicks backup center, “I’m in your head”. Did Wemby say “ I’m in your head , Boy” 👀😀 pic.twitter.com/Y4tjXDRBhN — AbaKoran (@AbaKoran) June 11, 2026 The Spurs then blew a 29-point lead, Victor commited one of the most embarassing late game turnovers in NBA Finals history, […]
Argentina, the defending champs of the 2022 Qatar World Cup—their first game in the 2026 World Cup hosted in Kansas City, Missouri. Mahomes country. USA, BAYBEEEE. Historically, Argentina’s risen to greatness when given the opportunity by regimes like Qatar and the US. Their first duel—a Group Stage game against Algeria—a team that hasn’t qualified for […]
The New York Yankees beat the Chicago White Sox with hammers on Tuesday night. A 12-2 victory over the surprisingly good White Sox team after exploding in the 4th inning to ruin Davis Martin’s night. Davis Martin walked into the Bronx with the 2nd-best ERA in the AL—Yankees tied his arms behind his back, took […]
For Donald Trump’s birthday, we hail our supreme leader—hosting bum fights on his front lawn for sexy troops and a celebrity row full of wrestlers, boxers and politicians—literally TKO and Trump employees. UFC 250 was a mandatory after-work mixer. No OT. Smile for social media and turn your comments off later. A tree falling in […]
After 13 straight postseason wins, with the greatest point differential in NBA history, the Knicks finally lost a basketball game. The San Antonio Spurs flew into New York and beat the Knicks 115-111, to win Game 3 of the NBA Finals and stay alive in the series. They are now down 2-1 with a shot […]
According to Jack Curry of the YES Network, the Yankees have placed Aaron Judge on the 10-Day IL and called up OF Spencer Jones from Triple-A. New York announced that Aaron Judge has been diagnosed with a stress fracture in the first rib on his right side. Judge will be reevaluated in 4-6 weeks to […]
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