X-Men ’97 is Marvel’s greatest achievement. Season 1, an adventure equally heartwarming and heartbreaking. Now that my fingers are working, the typing is typing, words are writing, I will be adding TV reviews to the repertoire. The sports blog that keeps giving. They’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.
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Let’s give out awards for X-Men ’97 Season 2:
Best Episode: Weapon X, Lies and DVDs
In the midst of a world-reckoning war with Apocalypse, spanning 3 separate timelines, Wolverine fucks off to re-up on some adamantium on the low low with his old drinking buddies—including his ex and biggest opp.
I feel Logan. I stick to the woods like Elucid.
X-Men ’97 correcting Fox’s focus on Hugh Jackman, Wolverine, like, the 8th most important member of Xavier’s team, this Logan bottle episode, the only glimpse into the lonely life of a man in love with a woman who cannot love him back. His adamantium claws make him feel special. We all just want to feel special.
Shout out Lady Deathstrike. A baddie.
The Most Avoidable Sacrifice Award: Magik
Preventing nothing, with as much time to escape as her brother beside her, a flashback shows Magik obliterated in the Genosha terrorist attack. Sacrificing herself, standing still, taking the brunt of Mastermind’s blast, alone in the street, not anyone saved by what I can only describe as suicide by cop.
The Johnnie Cochran “The Glove Does Not Fit” Award: Nightcrawler
Defending Graydon Creed, proud Nazi, against Exodus and The Acolytes, breaking out into a dramatic court drama with an Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mutantbird speech out of nowhere.
Like Johnny Cochran in the 90’s, Nightcrawler is representing the most guilty man of all time.
The Best New Ship: Bishop and Polaris
Polaris lowkey one of my favorite mutants. A star role in the Wolverine and The X-Men series from 2008. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver catching roses in their teeth under the spotlight, Polaris the forgotten Magneto spawn no longer.
Good on Bishop. Once you go black, you never go back to Bobby Drake.
Character I’m excited to see more of next season award: Colossus
Rip Nightcrawler, but we’ve got a new Russian toy. Colossus got his shine thanks to Ryan Reynolds snatching the biggest name Fox studios allowed him to pair with Deadpool. Colossus a slightly more recognizable figure than Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
Most Dysfunctional Family: The Summers
In the future, elderly Rachel Summers guides preteen Nathan Summers through his Apocalypse kamikaze quest as Mom and Dad, Cyclops and Jean Gray, apologetically attempting parenthood like they didn’t send their baby to a future warzone.
Favorite Team: X-Force
Given their own unique opening sequence, this was the funnest episode of season 2.
If you stepped foot in a 90s arcade, Psylocke and Archangel are iconic. Don’t let Olivia Munn stain the borrowed clothes.
Best Cameo: Kang the Conqueror
Pharaoh Rama-Tut, En Sabah Nur under thumb, mask off, Kang the Conqueror all along.
Kang camera zoom-in, cheesing as he escapes his crumbling empire, on to the next one.
Jonathan Majors dropped, shattered a life-altering plate.
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Best Ult Spam: Nightcrawler Clear All
Possessed by Zombie Gambit-Apocalypse, we watch Nightcrawler, from his POV, dogwalk all of the world’s most powerful mutants, BAMF-ing their brains out.
Resurrection I’m most excited for next season: Magneto
We all know Magneto will be back, right? How or why, not clear yet. If Apocalypse is still an issue, perhaps a horseman. Doubtful. Maybe the Hellfire Club, the group Magneto dismissively called out as social climbers, resurrect ya boy but Magneto will be back and it’ll be dramatic as hell.
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