You Can’t Catch Coronavirus If You Only Play Conference Games

College football seems to be pretending as if Coronavirus isn’t happening with no real plans to protect these kids against a virus that has killed over 130,000 people in this country. The NCAA appears to be veryyyy okay with thousands of kids getting themselves and potentially their families extremely sick so that Alabama can get TV money to pay for Nick Saban’s new basement/man cave.

But the Big Ten conference knows something that the NCAA doesn’t know. This week they have announced that their schools will only be playing in-conference games this year.

*wipes hands clean* problem solved.

Here is what the Big Ten said about the decision:

“We are facing uncertain and unprecedented times, and the health, safety and wellness of our student-athletes, coaches, game officials and others associated with our sports programs and campuses remain our number one priority,”¬†

“… By limiting competition to other Big Ten institutions, the Conference will have the greatest flexibility to adjust its own operations throughout the season and make quick decisions in real-time based on the most current evolving medical advice and the fluid nature of the pandemic.”

The Ivy League announced that they are canceling all fall sports. Suckers. Little did they know that they could’ve let the season ride out if they just exclusively played amongst themselves.

What I love most about the Big Ten Conference deciding to play conference-only games is that their decision was made from everyone’s separate homes in a Zoom meeting because they don’t want to risk catching Coronavirus by actually meeting in a room together while simultaneously making these kids go out there and slam into each other and sweat all over each other.

College football is so gross.

Not only are the players prohibited from earning a single dollar or else they lose their scholarships, get kicked off the team and sets back the entire program for years but now they can’t make money and they must risk death for the school that doesn’t give a shit about them at all.

Someone is going to die.

There are so many college football players and seemingly zero precautions being taken besides like ‘uh, let’s move their lockers slightly further away from each other’ as if they are not playing a game in which they are constantly touching each other on literally every play.

You are going to hear arguments that they need to play college football in order to help pay for other sports programs which is for sure true but should not be true. Again, it’s insane that these schools rely so heavily on the free labor of these kids while punishing them for having part time jobs and now preparing them to catch a virus because we think it only kills old people even though none of us know enough about this virus to pretend as if we know the long term effects it could have on someone’s body regardless of age. We’ll know soon enough when these kids turn into guinea pigs and lab rats.

Fortunately, the Big Ten Conference need not worry any longer. They are only playing conference games so they’re safe.

Somehow Nebraska is still going to finish in last place. I’m sick.



Sign Up For The Deadseriousness Newsletter

Don't worry, we don't spam


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

Leave a Reply

kelly loeffler

Politician That Owns Sports Team Wants To Keep Politics Out of Sports

josh hawley

No But Seriously Fuck You Josh Hawley