daniel jones

Why Are The New York Giants So Horny For Daniel Jones?

The NFL draft is quickly approaching and rumors are flying in every direction. Unlike last season where there was a rotating list of QBs that were borderline interchangeable, this year’s draft has a 5’9 baseball player making every team question their evaluations.

The team seemingly most confused by all the madness is the New York Giants, who had the opportunity to snatch up one of those top quarterbacks with the No. 2 pick last year but instead chose a running back who has zero impact on wins and losses.

Eli Manning is turning 68-years old this year and the Giants front office continues to come out every week and say they’re open to re-signing him to a new contract for 2020.

Why are the Giants talking so much? Not a day goes by that someone in the Giants organization doesn’t gather reporters around to praise Eli Manning even though no one is actively asking them about their thoughts on the matter.

What’s most frustrating about the Giants inability to go a day without deepthroating Eli is their obsession with Daniel Jones, a quarterback out of Duke who stinks at playing quarterback, which some might argue, will be a bit of a problem in the NFL.

Before I scream at the top of my lungs about how bad Daniel Jones is, let’s briefly discuss Dwayne Haskins.

Haskins was a one-year starter at Ohio State University going 13-1 and completing 70% of his passes. 70%. Josh Allen completed less than 50% of his passes at community college playing against future gym teachers and baristas. He was selected 7th overall last season.

Scouts are pretending like Haskins isn’t worth being selected in the Top 10. 70% of his passes.

Dwayne Haskins threw for a Big Ten record 4,831 yards with 50 touchdowns to only 8 interceptions. Haskins threw for 8 more touchdowns than Tom Brady and Drew Brees in their final Big-Ten seasons COMBINED.

He’s a 6-foot-3, 231-pound pocket passer. He is the prototype for what all of these draft scouts are looking for when they’re building their perfect prospect.

Ohhh shit, wait. He’s black though. Yea, nevermind. He must suck.

Enter Daniel Jones.

The white guy from Duke University who ‘looks’ like a quarterback even though he has done nothing to prove he’s deserving of an NFL job.

Here are some STATS:

Daniel Jones completed 60.5% of his passes for 2,674 yards with 22 touchdowns to 9 interceptions.

If you notice, all of those stats are lower than Haskins and Haskins played against Big Ten defenses. Daniel Jones played in the much weaker ACC.

Jones finished 2018 with a 131.4 passer rating.

Now, that sounds high but in college football, that’s average as hell. Daniel Jones ranked 66th among qualifying quarterbacks in passer rating. This is who the Giants want? The 66th best quarterback in college?

Jones averaged 6.8 yards per attempt. That put him 8th in again, a weak ACC and only 81st in the country.

If you liked Eli Manning dumping the ball off to the running back every play and ignoring the open receivers down the field then you’re going to LOVE Daniel Jones doing the same exact shit.

If the New York Giants draft Daniel Jones then they are setting themselves up for a decade of irrelevance.

Look at the Detroit Lions.

I don’t even think Matthew Stafford is a bad quarterback by any means. He’s actually very talented. Andddd he’s only played in 3 career playoff games. He’s lost all three.

If Stafford is the Mendoza line of good quarterbacks then Daniel Jones is lightyears below him talent-wise.

But it should surprise no one that Dave Gettleman stepped in as general manager and interestingly enough just HAPPENED to get rid of the three players that took a knee during the National Anthem (Snacks Harrison, Olivier Vernon and Landon Collins) and traded away Odell Beckham (the loud black guy who was disturbing the Giants ‘culture’) and replaced Beckham with Golden Tate (who wears a MAGA) now wants to bring in the safe ‘smart’ Daniel Jones over Dwayne Haskins.

The 2019 New York Giants are about to be presented to you by Fox News.


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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