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What Every 2020 National League Team Will Look Like With The Universal DH

Major League Baseball is expected to FINALLY introduce the universal DH rule that will remove pitchers from National League batting lineups. A move that should’ve existed from the beginning of time as pitchers have no business batting.

Let’s go team-by-team and look at which players on their roster will benefit the most from the addition of the DH position:

Arizona Diamondbacks

First baseman, Christian Walker, just had the best season of his career in 2019 hitting 29 homers and driving in 73 RBIs which meant that Jake Lamb was going to need to sit on the bench and watch him but the DH allows both sluggers to get into Arizona’s lineup every day.

Atlanta Braves

Although Nick Markakis is 36-years old, he’s two years removed from the best season of his career that ended with a Gold Glove and a Silver Slugger award. I think the DH should go to 23-year old Austin Riley, who had 18 homers in his first 80 career games last season. He’s somewhat positionless and 1000% deserves all the at-bats.

Chicago Cubs

Kyle Schwarber should have never been forced to play defense and every time he jogs out into the outfield he looks wildly out of place. Last season he led all outfielders in errors. I can’t believe it took this long for the DH to exist in the National League. What were we doing?

Cincinnati Reds

Aristides Aquino is a fucking monster who hit 19 bombs in 56 games last season. The Reds were about to have that man as a backup outfield this season before the DH saved them from themselves. Unless Aristides.

Colorado Rockies

Daniel Murphy had arguably the worst season of his career with his lowest batting average and OPS+ ever. He’s one of the best hitters I’ve ever seen at the plate and I’m a firm believer that playing DH will fix him. He’s also a homophobic asshole so maybe he shouldn’t be fixed. I’m conflicted.

Los Angeles Dodgers

The Dodgers have an assembly line of generic white dudes who can all slug so the DH simply allows them to turn their generic white dude machine on 1.5x speed and spit out a few more of these guys. That Joc Pederson trade fell through and he won’t be playing over Mookie Betts so there’s an option there but this is Chris Taylor’s chance to get regular daily playing time.

Miami Marlins

I won’t pretend to care about the Marlins right now but, I don’t know, Garrett Cooper pretty much is a prototypical DH so him, sure.

Milwaukee Brewers

It’s Fuck Ryan Braun here at Deadseriousness but yea, he’s probably DH for Milwaukee.

New York Mets

I mean, the obvious answer is Yoenis Cespedes who has been MIA these past two seasons because his legs snap when the wind blows or when he’s wrestling wild boars. I would not trust that man in the outfield. He’s going to suffer a Joe Theismann caliber leg break attempting to make a diving catch. Robinson Cano should probably DH but Cespedes literally cannot walk.

Philadelphia Phillies

The Phillies could use the DH to help Andrew McCutchen return from his torn ACL and he could split time between outfield and DH with 33-year old Jay Bruce, who hit 26 bombs last season but only had a 101 OPS+ which was his lowest in 5 years. They also have prospect, Alec Bohm, coming. He’s a 1B/3B that’s being blocked by Jean Segura and Rhys Hoskins but the DH could give him a spot on the major league roster.

Pittsburgh Pirates

I truly do not have any opinions on the Pittsburgh Pirates. Zero thoughts. Nothing.

San Diego Padres

It’s still insane to me that Wil Myers spells his name with only one L. Really almost sat here and wrote about Wil Myers as if he doesn’t spell his name like an asshole. I can’t do it. I won’t.

San Francisco Giants

For the Giants, the DH will act as more of a day off for their veterans like Buster Posey, Evan Longoria, Brandon Belt and Brandon Crawford as I don’t believe there is one particular player who will occupy that spot in the batting order on a daily basis.

St. Louis Cardinals

It’s a wrap for Matt Carpenters fielding days. St. Louis should exclusively use the DH for Carpenter and shouldn’t even consider putting a glove in his hands.

Washington Nationals

Ryan Zimmerman shoud’ve been a DH for the last two seasons. He’s an injury-prone defensive liability at this point in his career but he can still put together a string of productive at-bats. The Nats also brought back playoffs hero, Howie Kendrick, who certainly deserves at-bats¬† Not to mention Eric Thames and Asdrubal Cabrera are power hitters that could benefit from the DH as well. Bold move for the Washington Nationals to have like, 80 great hitters on their roster. Let’s see if it pays off.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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