sonic the hedgehog

What Did Sonic Do To Deserve This?

So quick question: what the fuck was that?

Who asked for this movie? Seriously? In 2019, who on planet Earth asked for a live-action Sonic The Hedgehog movie and how do we stop them from ever giving their opinions again?

This animation style works for Detective Pikachu because in a way, Pokemon are these children’s companions so making them appear as though they’re stuffed animals come to life makes total sense.

Sonic The Hedgehog isn’t friends with humans. He’s a hedgehog. His best friend is a fox wearing Nike Air Max’s.

He looks AWFUL in this. This is dumb. And speaking of dumb…

Enter Jim Carrey.

Again, it’s 2019. We’re still doing this whole Ace Ventura thing? Comedy hasn’t progressed past Jim Carrey talking quickly? Also, is this a children’s movie because if so, I guess I should probably chill with the criticisms.

Growing up playing Sonic on Sega Genesis while all of my friends have a Nintendo 64, I take this very personally. Sonic was OURS. Sega Hive stand up. He’s all we had.

And now look at him.

Also why is he in a car so much in this trailer? Sonic’s one attribute is his running. That’s the whole game. Running and smashing boxes and shit. And in this movie, he’s sitting shotgun.

Why are they doing this to Sonic? Why are they tearing down our statues?!


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Deadseriousness

Written by Deadseriousness

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