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What Are You Supposed To Wear To A Baseball Game?

Over the weekend, the Arizona Diamondbacks team account tweeted a photo of a young man on a date. Cool. A reporter for The Athletic had some *thoughts* on the man’s attire for this date and how it may have been too casual for the situation.

The tweet is now deleted because she was roasted to death. In her defense, if we are to believe these two seen in the photo are on their second date then yes, mesh shorts and a t-shirt that you probably got for free in some ballpark giveaway a month earlier doesn’t necessarily indicate that you are attempting to impress the woman you are courting.

Here’s a typical rule of thumb for any date outfit: no elastic bands. Firm believer that no one should leave the house in sweatpants or gym shorts and that it should be illegal to go on a date dressed like you’re hungover and sneaking into the local deli for a bacon egg and cheese and a large iced tea. Maybe dress as if you want that person to uh, think highly of you. Maybe.

All that being said, like, what are we doing here? It’s a baseball game in Arizona. My dude was not about to bust out his finest khakis to stick to the bleachers. You know what’s worse than wearing basketball shorts on a date? A shirt covered in back sweat.

So what are you supposed to wear to a baseball game?

Okay, so you trick a girl into thinking you’re a normal, kind, sincere, decent-looking guy and you want to take her to see the ol’ local ball club hit and catch. What are you putting on your weird body?

Lot of people don’t know this but they actually sell shorts that don’t have drawstrings. Like, you can wear some Bermudas. Maybe a pleated short. Cargo shorts if you want her to know you’re incapable of making her cum. There are options.

T-shirts are fine. Solid colors with no logos never fail. A comfortable v-neck. Whatever you want. Just try to avoid a shirt that looks like you caught from a t-shirt cannon. Keep the old shirt that makes you look like a summer camp consoler in the dresser for another day.

Hell, maybe even a polo shirt. A collar never hurt anyone on a date. The shirt you wear when you wash your car need not be worn to the stadium with the girl you want to keep texting you.

One time I wore jeans to a Yankees game in August so I don’t know shit about shit.

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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