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The Brilliance of Mario Hezonja

Mario Hezonja is the most fascinating player on the New York Knicks. He has all the confidence in the world and seemingly none of the talent. He’s averagin 7.8 points and 3.8 rebounds on the season.

After signing a 1-year ‘prove it’ contract, Hezonja has done nothing to change his reputation as a bust from his days in Orlando but he has proven something far more valuable: he still thinks he’s the best player in the NBA. And there’s value in having a wildly overconfident Croatian superstar in your locker room putting BUCKETS on Kevin Knox’s head in practice and then missing all of those shots when the real games actually start.

Never forget what Hezonja said prior to being drafted in 2015:

Respect? No, I never had respect to anybody on a basketball court, I heard about, ‘If they smell blood, you get eaten.’ I’m not like that. I don’t care. Whether it’s a veteran or a young player standing in front of me I always have the same goal. I want to run over everybody.”

OF COURSE he was the man who guarded LeBron James on that last possession and OF COURSE he swatted his shit directly back into his balding scalp. No one else on the Knicks roster would’ve had the balls to stop him. Hezonja has all of the balls. So. Many. Testes.

Watching Mario Hezonja play basketball on a nightly basis is a privilege and an honor. Sometimes he knows exactly where he’s supposed to be on a basketball court. His motions are fluid. He moves like a superstar. If you never watched a Knicks game, you’d quickly believe that the team was built around Mario.

He’s easily the most athletic player on the team. Not sure if that says more about how athletic HE is or how unathletic the rest of the roster is but you get the point.

This motherfucker dunked on Giannis and then stepped over him like he was gum on the sidewalk. He was offended that Giannis would even attempt to block his dunk. Mario Hezonja makes other superstars look like they’re Mario Hezonja.

Anddd then he’ll do shit like this where he dribbles with his head down, ignores everyone on the court around him and then just tosses the ball into the front row.

Hezonja is the walking example of the duality of man. He is the not perfect basketball player. He has flaws. For example: every shot he takes hits the backboard so hard that you have to turn your TV down.

But his hubris makes him the most watchable player on the squad. He thinks he’s better than Kevin Durant and honestly, if the Knicks can’t get KD then they should 1000% just sign Hezonja to the max so we can witness this brilliance.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Mario Hezonja has earned the max. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Follow on Instagram so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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