— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) July 30, 2016
Welp, Tony Romo had a fun offseason of zero responsibility and physical excursion. Apparently, Romo had an all carbs summer. If it’s not fried then keep that shit away from my boy, Tony. When I walk into a bar for the first time, I always order the beer that has the highest alcohol percentage. When Tony Romo pulls into a McDonald’s he always orders the sandwich that has the most calories.
There’s like a 72% chance that Tony Romo had no idea that training camp was starting up. He woke up to a text from the quarterback coach saying ‘where r u?!?’ and he rushed to practice after stopping at Dunkin Donuts for a dozen glazed and a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake.
I’ve never been more confident that the New York Giants are going to win the NFC East. The Dallas Cowboys have an overweight injury prone fool behind center. The Eagles have a rookie quarterback and I’ve never been threatened by the Washington Redskins, ever.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think the Cowboys are going 0-16 next season. Also, go ahead and give Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.