Ryan Fitzpatrick Scored 5 Touchdowns and Should Be the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Starting Quarterback While Jameis Winston Gropes Uber Drivers

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the New Orleans 48-40 thanks to Fitzpatrick throwing for 4 TDs and just rushing in there like an absolute beast for a touchdown. He went 21-28 with 417 yards. He’s literally the frontrunner for the MVP award if the season were to end today.

If we are truly going to carry Fitzpatrick on our shoulders and parade him around downtown Tampa, we also need to add the important context that he went head-to-head and blow-to-blow with Drew Brees, a man who puts up 40 points in his sleep.

It’s a real shame that Jameis Winston won’t be around for the first 3 games because he decided it was a good idea to grab a female uber driver by her genitals. Real shame that now Ryan Fitzpatrick, who is probably on his last legs in the NFL, has taken this opportunity and put up 48 points on the New Orleans Saints heads.

Jameis Winston consistently leads the NFL in turnovers and has career win-loss record of 18-27. Why is it a guarantee that he gets his job back if Fitzmagic is going to be playing like this? My man would much rather ‘grab her by the pussy’ then learn how to decipher a defense at the line of scrimmage.

Ryan Fitzpatrick was literally one play away from leading a pretty average New York Jets team to the playoffs two seasons ago while Jameis Winston hasn’t even been close. I’m not even saying trade Jameis. Nope. Straight up waive him. It’s almost as if he may learn that there are consequences to one’s actions which hasn’t been the case thus far.

Plus, we get to see more Fitzpatrick, who looks damn good in that Bucs jersey, put Tampa Bay on his back and run through the NFC South while Jameis stays at the bar until the lights come on at 3am as he searches for the drunkest girl to take home that won’t fight back.

Fuck Jameis Winston.






Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Ryan Fitzpatrick deserves the MVP award right this second. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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