Rick Pitino is BACK To Save The Sex Work Industry

We’re in the midst of a global pandemic that is destroying economies across the globe. The stock market is crashing on a daily basis. The DOW is hitting record lows. Entire countries are shutting down. Production has seized. There are no more commodities and no more consumers.

This turmoil is crumbling the sex industry.

If no one is allowed to work than no one has disposable income to discreetly place cash in an envelope and slide it onto the bathroom counter in a hotel room the next town over from where their wife and kids sleep as a woman in lingerie sitting on the bed attempts to have normal casual small talk as if they’re not about to sleepily lay there and take the worst dick of their life as they shout ‘YESSSS’ at the top of the lungs.

Only one man is horny and sketchy enough to restore balance to the force.

Enter Rick Pitino.

Rick Pitino is one of the greatest college basketball coaches ever.

He has a 647-271 career win-loss record but has spent the last three seasons in exile after being fired by Louisville and the NCAA dunking on the program by vacating all wins from December 2010 to June 2014 because Pitino may or may not have hired escorts for teenage recruits visiting the campus.

Pitino was out here feeding the streets. Everybody eats.

My man was sending hookers to kid’s dorm rooms. Sure, there were some underage kids who may have been swept into this and one could argue that we’re now dipping into statutory rape but this took place in Louisville, KENTUCKY. I won’t pretend to be well versed in Kentucky’s age of consent but—come on.

If anyone should be punished for that story making the news, it’s the self-proclaimed ‘escort queen’, Katina Powell, who decided to write a tell-all book and spill everyone’s secrets. Look, there’s a level of confidentiality necessary in order to keep the sex industry alive. Their work could end families, take down empires and lead to world wars. All you had to do is not write a fucking book about the little wee wees you touch.

But much like Rick Pitino, it’s time to look forward and ignore the past.

Coach Pitino doesn’t have time to relitigate the past. He’s too busy looking for Madames in New Rochelle to provide him with new escorts who won’t write fucking books about the jizz parties that are about to go down in Iona dorms.

Proud to be living in the same state as Rick Pitino and Kevin Durant. NYC prostitutes will never go hungry again. They’re probably planning on moving the AVN awards to Manhattan next year.

Also real quick, what are the chances that Pitino sat down and created the coronavirus to create global panic, destroy the stock market and sneak back into college basketball during the chaos? 95%? At the very least, he definitely contracted it during a weekend of cuddling with Malaysian ladyboys before coughing in some poor stewardess’s mouth on the $45 flight home.

Long live coach Pitino. Never stop paying for pussy.






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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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