— People Magazine (@people) June 8, 2016
So apparently, Richard Simmons had a mysterious hospital visit andddd he walked out of that a woman named Fiona. It’s stories like these that make me fear getting my tonsils removed. I’m reallyyy not trying to wake up as Queen Lester.
Meet my friend, Fiona
Well that might just be the worst looking ‘woman’ of all time. Being an old ass man and becoming a woman is sooo hot in the streets these days. I’m surprised it took Simmons so long to officially tuck it.
There’s also a very good chance that there’s just a weird chick in Florida named Fiona who happens to look like a cross-dressing Richard Simmons which is just hilarious. Poor girl can’t leave her house without people taking photos. She’s a modern day Elephant Man.
But most likely, she’s Dick Simmons being a fucking weirdo. Dick Simmons. Did you get it? I think that was a pun.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you are 1000% certain that Simmons is a woman now.