Ric Flair — I’M ENGAGED … For the 5th Time! https://t.co/XDKlI6jQ3B
— TMZ Sports (@TMZ_Sports) July 18, 2016
WOOOOOO! 16-time World Heavyweight Champion is finally settling down (again). Ric Flair is officially engaged to his longtime girlfriend and former WCW valet, Fifi the Maid, whose real name I refuse to look up.
This just proves a valuable lesson about love. For anyone out there in a cold streak, follow Ric Flair’s advice. Sure, you can go out there and settle for some slumpbuster on a Friday night that weighs 100 pounds more than you do but there’s always another option.
The Nature Boy just confirmed a solid theory I’ve had since day one, you can always go back to the well. If you’ve hooked up before, there’s about a 99% chance that somewhere down the road, the option to hook up again will become available.
You know for a fact that Flair banged Fifi the Maid back in the WCW days. All he was actually doing was planting a seed that he would finally harvest like, 25 years later. Follow his teachings and you will never go hungry again.
Also, congrats to Flair for getting the highly coveted ‘bang maid’ that Frank Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia always wanted.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think this marriage won’t last longer than 30 business days. Also, go ahead and give Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.