There is nothing I enjoy more than a good ol fashioned Power Ranking and the Oakland Raiders have had a, let’s say, ‘interesting’ offseason so let’s rank the players on their roster based off of who is most likely to cut off their dead father’s head, threaten to murder funeral home workers and calling his teammates the n-word:
- Richie Incognito. I know this is coming as a huge shock to put Richie Incognito No. 1 on these power rankings of players most likely to cut off their father’s head, threaten to murder a funeral home worker and call his teammate the n-word but bear with me. I swear this isn’t a Skip Bayless style hot take for no reason.
In 2013, Richie bullied his Miami Dolphins teammate, Jonathan Martin, and called him a ‘half-nigger’ which is a strange thing to call a coworker for no reason.
Last summer at his dad’s funeral, he threatened to murder the employees that worked there because they wouldn’t allow him to cut his dad’s head off for ‘research purposes’ and proceeded to punch walls and yelled about having guns in his car.
According to a copy of the arrest report, Employees of Messingers Pinnacle Peak Mortuary told Scottsdale police that the former Pro Bowler said he wanted his father’s head cut off for research purposes and that he walked through the funeral home punching caskets and throwing things.
An employee at the mortuary said in a 911 call obtained by USA TODAY Sports that workers at the business were “very afraid” of Incognito.
“He made a gesture and said he was going to kill somebody here and said he had guns in his truck,” the employee who alerted police to the disturbance told the dispatcher. “We are just very afraid right now.” (Source)
Again, I know it’s wild to power rank Oakland Raiders players based off of who is most likely to cut off their father’s head, threaten to murder a funeral home worker and call his teammate the n-word and put Richie on top of the list because he tried to cut his dad’s head off, threatened to murder funeral home workers and called his teammate a ‘half-nigger’ but I hope I made a decent argument.
2. Jon Gruden. Gruden is like, one bad day away from becoming Richie Incognito. Give him a shot of Red Bull and take away his favorite visor and people are getting decapitated.
Fuck Richie Incognito.
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