I Didn’t Think I Could Hate The Philadelphia Eagles More But Then They Traded For Michael Bennett

The Seattle Seahawks are trading star defensive end Michael Bennett and a seventh-round pick to the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles for a fifth-rounder and receiver Marcus Johnson, sources told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.

Bennett has three years remaining on his current contract. He carries a 2018 cap number of around $8.39 million, and hits of approximately $8.74 million and $10.24 million in 2019 and 2020, respectively.



I hate the Philadelphia Eagles. I cannot stress that enough.

Watching them win the Super Bowl is one of the worst moments of my life. I used to live with a girlfriend. She cheated on me. That was a beautiful day compared to seeing Nick Foles and his underbite hold up the Lombardi Trophy. I’m not typing this article. I’m punching the keyboard.

Anddd now the Eagles have acquired Michael Bennett from the Seattle Seahawks who turns out to statistically be better than every single player on the Eagles last year and the Eagles were already considered to have the best pass rush. Awesome.

You’re not even allowed to do this trade in Madden. This should be illegal. This is a crime. A heist. It truly is robbin’ season.

The worst part about Bennett to the Seahawks is that he is one of the woke players in the NFL willing to kneel during the anthem and back that up with actual information about police brutality. He is clearly a well-read man.

And now I have to actively root against him because he’s in the NFC East and he’s going to murder Eli Manning in cold blood. Saquon Barkley is going to get buried in the backfield because the Eagles somehow have Fletcher Cox, Brandon Graham, Derek Barnett AND Michael Bennett running through Ereck Flowers’s bitch ass.

Yea, I’m out on next season.

I’ll only be checking in to mock Dez Bryant every time he drops a wide open pass right off his hands and when the Alex Smith led Redskins put together a very strong 7-9 campaign.

Fuck the Philadelphia Eagles.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re an Eagles fan so I can block you. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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