Philadelphia 76ers Star Joel Embiid is Addicted to Shirley Temples

The Philadelphia 76ers have spent the last 3 seasons losing intentionally in order to hoard draft picks and they’ve finally assmmbled their worst roster yet in hopes of grabbing more draft picks next years. I absolutely love it. Well one of the draft picks is Joel Embiid and according to a Sports Illustrated article, he’s addicted to shirley temples and hot dogs.


This type of disregard for instruction also extends to Embiid’s dietary habits. Per a source, the Sixers’ training staff was so concerned about what he was eating, they stocked the refrigerator in his downtown hotel residence each week with healthy food. When a staffer went to restock the fridge each week, most everything was uneaten and unopened, and they were throwing out the fruits and vegetables every week. When the team subsequently asked to see Embiid’s room service bill, they found that most days he was ordering junk food along with his signature beverage, a pitcher of Shirley Temples. Embiid also was frequently seen feasting on chicken fingers and hot dogs at and after games. 


Joel Embiid just became one of my favorite NBA players. This is exactly how I’d live if I were a professional athlete with unlimited access to whatever I want. Pitchers of shirley temples and chicken fingers. I mean, I haven’t had a shirley temple since prom night but give me an NBA salary and I’ll find a way to incorporate a shirley temple into my repertoire.

This is what happens when everyone on your roster is like, 19 years old. They eat hot dogs and throw out their vegetables. Joel Embiid is my NBA avatar. I am now living vicariously through his diet.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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