eric decker

On Their Tireless Quest To Make Football Great Again, The New England Patriots Sign Eric Decker to 1-Year Deal

Eric Decker was drafted in 2010 and for some reason, it has taken him 8 years to finally find himself wearing a New England Patriots jersey. This was destiny. Imagine what it must’ve felt like last season to be Bill Belichick watching Brandin Cooks run all those deep routes and in your hearts of hearts know that there’s juuuuust something off with him but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.

Then you look around and realize that Eric Decker is still a free agent waiting to be snatched up. Decker is finally home. Everything that the Patriots have built was created to allow Decker to flourish in his natural environment.

Eric Decker is coming off his worst season with 54 catches for 563 receiving yards and only 1 touchdown. But now he’s catching passes from Tom Brady and lining up across from Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski. Just as the prophecy foretold.

It just feels good knowing that there is at least one NFL team that will 1000% not be kneeling during the National Anthem. No distractions. I can focus on the Star Spangled Banner, the troops and all the black people I’m going to call the cops on for doing mundane regular activities.

From Wes Welker to Danny Amendola to now Eric Decker, you can always count on the New England Patriots to grab their MAGA hats from Tom Brady’s locker and channel the energy from their fans down in Charlottesville to take home another Super Bowl trophy for God’s chosen people.

Make Football Great Again.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Eric Decker brought his own tiki torch with him to the Patriots facilities. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


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Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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