No Nut November Is a Direct Attack on Us Coomers

It’s November, apparently, which means it’s time to be shamed into some weird random abstinence as No Nut November is upon us. This inhumane internet trend is a direct attack on me and everything I believe in. As a proud coomer, this campaign is oppressive and we need to stop fascism.

No Nut November started as a cute little hashtag back in 2017 meant to shame primarily men into celibacy for absolutely no reason. I only have sex once per election cycle so this is 100% about shaming people who fap aka coomers.

But coming is actually good for you and this evil month long trend is sabotage. Fapping is good for prostate health. Sorry I don’t want prostate cancer so I’m going to continue spending the additional six minutes in the shower to SAVE MY LIFE.

And what a despicable blitz against sex workers. The porn industry is already in free fall due to COVID-19 restrictions and now we’re supposed to ruin their income for a month to impress incels on Twitter? Disgusting. Protect sex workers. Protect Julie Cash.

Don’t let these people trick you into thinking fapping is wrong. It’s a life or death process. It puts food on Brandi Love’s table.

Quick shout out to the weirdos who think No Nut November is a punishment for women as if anyone actively choosing to participate in this has a girl in their bed just begging for a crumb of penis at the end of the day.

Men’s rights activists really believe freezing women out of sex is in some way taking back power they believed they lost because it’s 2020 and women are allowed to like, buy their own cars without putting their husband’s names on it.

I want to meet the girls that are being shut out by their boyfriends all month and ask them what they find attractive about their 4chan moderator baes. “Nobody hacks into local community college databases better than my Brendan. We met at a Death Grips concert. He punched me in the face in a mosh pit. Love at first sight”.

Everyone go nut. In fact, nut every single day in November out of spite. November belongs to the coomers once more. Take back this country.




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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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