kawhi Leonard

Morning Caffeine News Rush: Kawhi Leonard is the MVP and Paul Manafort is Dumb as Shit

Today’s morning caffeine news rush we have an NBA Finals preview with Kawhi Leonard besting Kevin Durant, Jay-Z is still rapping apparently and Paul Manafort is going to be buried under the prison.

 

1. The Toronto Raptors beat the Golden State Warriors 131-128 in an overtime thriller.

Kevin Durant also had a quiet 51 points and a game-tying 3 to send it into overtime but according to Draymond Green. he’s a bitch so who cares? The Warriors don’t need him.

 

2. The Dallas Cowboys ended the New Orleans Saints 10-game win streak in a 13-10 defensive struggle.

Drew Brees threw an interception? He never throws interceptions. Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home…

 

 

3. Paul Manafort breached plea deal by repeatedly lying to Robert Mueller.

There is a belief that Paul Manafort thought he could get away with lying to the FBI because he thought his boy Donny Trump would pardon him. He won’t and he isn’t. Manafort is going to be running the prison yard.

 

 

4. Alt-Right Woman Gets Banned By Twitter So She Handcuffs Herself To Twitter’s Front Doors.

Laura Loomer, a race-baiting dog whistling asshole lost her privileges of making played out Hilary jokes and ran to Twitter HQ to pretend to be a victim. Just don’t be a Nazi. It’s not impossible.

 

 

5. Les Moonves forced an actress to blow him and then forced her silence.

Just a quick ‘men ain’t shit’ reminder before you go on that awkward Tinder date this weekend. Definitely bring up that Les Moonves ruined Bobbie Phillips’s career before it even began.

 

 

6. Dwight Howard might miss the remainder of the season with a glute injury.

No, I won’t make a joke about dudes smashing Dwight’s cheeks to smithereens. Those reports probably aren’t true. And even if they are. If Dwight gets down like that, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just you know, get a good stretch in first. Make sure everything’s ready to go. Can’t jeopardize your season because your cakes got deflated, my g.

 

 

7. Jay-Z returns on Meek Mill’s new album to dunk on Kanye West.

No red hat, don’t Michael and Prince me and Ye,

They separate you when you got Michael and Prince’s DNA,

I ain’t one of these house n****s you bought,

My house like a resort, my house bigger than yours,

My spou ― c’mon, man ― my route better of course…

My hair free, carefree, n****s ain’t near free.

Enjoy your chains, what’s your employer name? With the hairpiece?

Old man BARS.

 

 

8. Earl Sweatshirt finally drops the long-awaited Some Rap Songs.

I suppose Meek Mill’s album was long-awaited but we’ve got enough Meek yelling about his watch. The world needs more Earl spitting venom.

 

 

9. New York Mets might’ve just fucked around and traded for Robinson Cano.

The Mets hired a new general manager so naturally, he thinks he has to make a big ‘splash’ as is tradition. This time it’s trading for a 36-year old that makes $20 million a year until he’s 41. Yup, what a steal by the Mets.

 

 

10. DC is developing its first Latino superhero movie.

This is huge news. Except for the fact that DC is now has over 20 movies in development so this project will never see the light on day.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re going to be listening to Earl’s album all weekend long. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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