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Missing The New York Knicks Is Sick, Sad and I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way

The New York Knicks haven’t played a basketball game since March 11th. An overtime thriller against the Atlanta Hawks. A 136-131 victory that was just enough to ruin the Knicks position in the draft lottery because of course it did.

It’s been 8 months since this awful basketball team attempted to dribble and shoot against actual professional basketball players. We were just spoiled with the NBA bubble getting high-quality games all day every day and all I could think about is Julius Randle spinning full speed into a double team in the post drawing an offensive foul as RJ Barrett stands wide open on the perimeter patiently waiting for a dish out that we all know is never coming.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen Kevin Knox get completely embarrassed on defense with a backdoor cut only to jog to the other side of the court and hide in the corner for the entire length of the shot clock. Miss those valuable minutes.

Of course I enjoyed watching Jamal Murray turn into a superstar in front of our eyes. But man, there’s nothing better than seeing Frank Ntilikina miss wide open 3’s and getting his layups swatted at the rim. That’s REAL point guard play.

LeBron James is probably the greatest basketball player ever and we are lucky to be alive at the same time he is so we can witness his abilities. But we are also lucky to be alive to witness Bobby Portis’s eye pop out of his skull after fouling the shit out of someone out of frustration.

The only New York Knicks content I’ve been able to consume is just Bleacher Report articles that claim RJ Barrett is the biggest draft bust in NBA history while simultaneously saying that he should be traded straight up for Russell Westbrook because obviously Houston would want a player that apparently sucks to team up with James Harden. Why am I explaining how stupid these articles are? You get it.

Fuck Bleacher Report.

I miss the chaos of Dennis Smith Jr checking into a game after not playing for two weeks straight on coach’s decision DNPs then seeing him deflect a pass on the perimeter and end a fastbreak with a monster dunk that sends Madison Square Garden into a frenzy before immediately getting crossed up next time down the floor and then answering that defensive shame with a 3-pointer that bricks so load off the backboard that I need to scurry to locate my remote control so I can turn the volume down.


It’s been reported that the season may begin around Christmas. That would be almost 10 months without seeing Taj Gibson grab 4 rebounds in 34 minutes.

I should not feel this way. I should be relieved that I haven’t had my heart beaten in 4 times a week. This is mental illness. This is Stockholm syndrome. Sure, it looks like an abusive relationship but you don’t know the Knicks like I know them. This black eye is from running into a doorknob, ok. Mind your business.

I miss the New York Knicks and I wouldn’t have it any other way.




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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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