Michael Vick Says Colin Kaepernick Should Cut His Hair

The former NFL quarterback, who knows a thing or two about rehabilitating his image, joined Fox Sports 1’s “Speak for Yourself” on Monday and kicked off the Kaepernick discussion with some new – somewhat questionable – advice.

“First thing we’ve got to get Colin to do is cut his hair,” Vick said. “Listen, I’m not up here to try to be politically correct. Even if he puts cornrows in there. I don’t think he should represent himself in that way. Just the hairstyle. Just go clean-cut. You know, why not? You’re already dealing with a lot…

“He’s just got to be presentable.”



Michael Vick makes a strong point here. The reason why teams won’t sign Colin Kaepernick is because he has an afro. I mean seriously, clean it up man. Be professional, Colin. At the very least put cornrows[1. which he wore literally every game day.] in but like, an afro?! Uh, dress for the job you want not for the streets.

Whenever I want to know how to behave in a professional work environment, I Google Mike Vick to see what the last thing he has to say about social etiquette. Michael Vick is the Emily Post of our generation. What are all these extra forks at the dinner table? How do I get hired by NFL teams after standing up for social justice? Ask Mr. Vick.

I really hope Kaepernick is taking notes here. I assume he’d be the starting quarterback in Buffalo right now if he just found someone to braid his hair. Colin Kaepernick would have a better chance playing in the NFL next season if he started a dog fighting ring or something.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you agree with Michael Vick. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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