Mark Sanchez Suspended 4 Games For Taking The Most Ineffective Steroids of All Time

The great Mark Sanchez has been suspended by the NFL for failing a drug test which probably couldn’t come at a worse time for Sanchez as he isn’t currently on an NFL roster and him not being available for a quarter of the season won’t help his chances of getting on a squad. Dang.

Sanchez had some thoughts about this failed test:

A post shared by Mark Sanchez (@mark_sanchez) on

Here’s a tip to all professional athletes who take steroids and then fail a test: the results were not tampered with. No one is out to get Marky Mark. Let’s not question the people doing their jobs and maybe question the quality of the steroids you’re taking.

Since 2014 Sanchez has played for the Eagles, Broncos, Cowboys and Bears and only has 10 starts combined over the course of those four years. You really need to step up your steroid regiment, my guy. Can’t be on the juice and only have a career win-loss record of 37-35.

Over the course of 9 mediocre seasons, Mark Sanchez has made about $73 MILLION. No shit Sanchez is on steroids. He’s made close to 9 figures and all he has to do is stand on the sideline holding a clipboard and like, not kneel during the National Anthem. Back up quarterback is an amazing gig if you can get it.

Hopefully, he can make it out in the world if his NFL career is truly over. Can’t imagine how he’ll survive with only $73 milly but ya know, keep your head up, my guy.






Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Mark Sanchez is snacking on HGH gummy bears as you read this. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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