Deadseriousness
Lyrical breakdown will be a new feature on Deadseriousness in which I will dissect and over analyze music. It’s time someone put music under a condescending microscope. Look through the lens of the king, as I do what I do best. Mock people who are more successful than I am.
Cheerleader is the unofficial song of the summer because I said so. Every time I turn on the radio I have to listen to this OMI guy who sounds like the record is at 1.5X speed. Like just sped up enough for you to be annoyed.
[Verse 1]
When I need motivation
My one solution is my queen
Cause she’ stay strong (yeah yeah)
Typical pop song here. Nothing to break down yet.
She is always in my corner
Right there when I want her
All these other girls are tempting
But I’m empty when you’re gone
And they say
You girlfriend definitely wants to know how tempted you are when she’s gone. Very romantic. Wait…are you about tell her what these girls say to you?! Abort. Abort.
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you need me?
Well that’s aggressive as shit. That’s the first thing a girl says to you? Do you need me?;
Do you think I’m pretty?
Well that’s just more like every chick ever.
Do I make you feel like cheating?
And I’m like no, not really cause
“Do I make you feel like cheating?” Who are these over confident broads hitting on you? And your response is “not really”? Your girlfriend would 1000% not be okay with hearing you say this shit man.
[Chorus]
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
Is that what cheerleaders are known for? Just being right there when you need them? I know you’re just trying to rhyme but that’s not what cheerleaders do.
[Verse 2]
She walks like a model
She grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle (yeah yeah)
Yeaaaa, I mean it’d be foolish of me to take song lyrics as literal facts. Clearly a simile here but I don’t think she’s “granting wishes”. She’s probably just like, mad nice to you.
Cause I’m the wizard of love
And I got the magic wand
Alright you lost me here. Wizard of love? Really, guy. I hate you.
All these other girls are tempting
But I’m empty when you’re gone
And they say
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you need me?
Do you think I’m pretty?
Do I make you feel like cheating?
And I’m like no, not really cause
[Chorus]
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
[Verse 3]
She gives me love and affection
Baby did I mention, you’re the only girl for me
Baby did I forget to tell you…You’re the only girl for me. Really wish you’d stop going back and forth between singing about to her and singing directly to her.
No I don’t need a next one
Mama loves you too, she thinks I made the right selection
Now all that’s left to do
Is just for me to pop the question
Whoa shit, this is escalating fast. Again are you telling her you need to pop the question or me? Stick to one perspective. I’m finding new reasons to hate this song more and more. I listened to this like 5 straight times while writing this. I’m on the ledge now.
[Chorus]
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her
I hate this song but I will never change the station when comes on the radio which makes me hate it more.
