Los Angeles Rams Sign Todd Gurley To a 4-Year $60 Million Extension Because They Don’t Give a Fuck About Aaron Donald and Don’t Seem To Have a Salary Cap


The Los Angeles Rams spent this offseason building an NFL super team seemingly throwing money at everyone and anyone who has an overall rating above 80 on the last version of Madden which is strange considering, you know, the NFL has a salary cap to prevent this very thing from happening.

Currently left tackle Andrew Whitworth and free safety LaMarcus Joyner will both be making over $11 this year. They also traded for Aqib Talib’s $11 million salary and of course, they signed Ndamukong Suh to a massive $14 million deal. Money is not an option for the Rams.

Then the Rams traded for New England Patriots wide receiver Brandin Cooks and before he played a single snap in a Rams jersey, the team signed him to a big extension.

The Los Angeles Rams are having a real mid-life crisis.

The team moved from St. Louis to Los Angeles and started buying expensive Corvettes and dying the gray hair growing on their temples light blonde. They bought a surfboard that they convinced themselves that they will 1000% learn how to use this summer even though they haven’t been to the beach once.

And their dropping bags left and right to any player not named Aaron Donald.

Donald is the best defensive player in the NFL and the second best player isn’t even in the same solar system as him. He’s the reigning Defensive Player of the Year and a 3-time NFL All-Pro and he’s one of the lowest paid players at his position.

But the Los Angeles Rams also traded for star cornerback, Marcus Peters, from the Kansas City Chiefs and he’s going to need to get paid soon. Jared Goff is going to need to get that sweet sweet top QB money sooner than later. Don’t be shocked if the Rams kicker gets a massive extension on Aaron Donald’s birthday just to really fuck him.

The Rams are going to murder each other by the time the preseason ends and I cannot wait until we see footage of Ndamukong Suh and Aaron Donald 3Ding Cooper Kupp through a table like the Dudley Boyz in the late 90’s.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Aaron Donald currently has Rams GM Les Snead held up at gunpoint. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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