Kobe Bryant is having his worst season. The Los Angeles Lakers are having an awful season. The sky is falling in Southern California and things just got from rock bottom to rockier bottom as Kobe Bryant has announced he will be retiring at the end of this season. Good riddance.
What sucks about this news isn’t that the NBA is losing such a great player in Kobe, it’s that now everyone and their dumb mothers will come out of the woodwork to blow Kobe’s tiny dick. Before you tweet nonsense at me, no I am not a Kobe hater. But I’m not going to pretend like Kobe isn’t a huge asshole.
Kobe Bryant forced Shaquille O’Neal out of Los Angeles. He bullied poor Smush Parker out of the NBA. Oh, and he raped that chick in Colorado and then proceeded to buy his wife an expensive ring and changed his jersey number like it never happened.
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BY-EEEEE Kobe. You bum. He’s the worst starter in the NBA this year and the Lakers should take this retirement as a blessing. They can finally rebuild and be average for the next decade. Can’t wait to see the Lakers battling for the 8th seed for the rest of my life. As it was written.