Dear god. John Wall, my guy. You good?
John Wall looks like he just woke up from Demi Lovato’s heroin overdose. He looks like the type of guy on the streets on Manhattan who will follow you and pick up your cigarette butt when you toss it to try to quickly smoke the last of it.
My man looks like he was dragged to Team USA practice against his will. Give this man a glass of water and a Dollar Shave Club membership. I’m getting cottonmouth just from looking at this photo. This is the ‘After’ photo for dehydration.
Some might say this is the ultimate ‘ball is life’ photo since he is clearly more focused on hoops than grooming himself. But there is a fine line between ‘ball is life’ and ‘can you swipe me into the subway, I’m having a lot of problems in my life’.
Is this what it feels like when your team acquires Dwight Howard?
I assume Dwight has been blowing up Wall’s phone from the moment he signed that contract just like, trying to be buddies and sending him wack ass memes. Every time Wall looks at his phone he gets a Facetime invitation from Dwight.
I can say with complete confidence that the Washington Wizards are going to be awful this season considering that John Wall doesn’t even have the will to get out of bed in the morning. Pray for Washington and congrats to Bradley Beal. It’s your team now.
Someone please give Wall a hug and a sandwich.