I May Need To Re-Evaluate My Josh Allen MVP Takes…

The Wildcard round was an interesting microscope on some of the NFL’s most fascinating players in the league. We saw Ryan Tannehill outplay Tom Brady even though he only completed 8 passes.

Kirk Cousins tricked some people into believing he’s somehow transformed into a brand new human after winning his first playoff game. Congrats Kirk, you are now as successful as Andy Dalton. What a milestone!

But the most interesting matchup of the weekend was the Houston Texans beating the Buffalo Bills 22-19 in an overtime game that saw Deshaun Watson carry Bill O’Brien’s awful gameplan past a much better prepared Bills team.

But Buffalo had plenty of opportunities to win this game and in the second half, they put the ball in Josh Allen’s hands to seal it anddd Josh Allen blew it.

But as a proud Josh Allen stan, I refuse to put the blame solely on his shoulders. There are times when the playcalling fails Josh. He is one of the best rushing quarterbacks in the NFL and established that early on.

Josh Allen can casually sprint for a 42-yard gain at any point in the game and Houston had no answers for it to begin the game. Since entering the league, Josh Allen has rushed for 1,141 yards which is second among quarterbacks behind only Lamar Jackson.

When Josh Allen jogs onto the field, he’s the best athlete on the field nine times out of nine.

Look at this future MVP. What can’t he do?!?! Allen started this game with 42 rushing yards, 11 passing yards and 16 receiving yards. A king. This is the proper way to gameplan when you have a Josh Allen considering he uh, can’t really throw the ball.

This season, on passes 10+ yards downfield, Allen completed 67 of 154 passes. That’s 43%. That’s bad.

The Bills went up 16-0 by limiting Allen’s potential mistakes but the Texans started to really apply pressure on the future champion and Allen, being the generous young man that he is, decided to fumble the ball twice so that Houston can catch up.

Not great!

Some would argue, when you’re up 16-0 you should lean more on your running game. Especially when your quarterback is kind of a bad quarterback but Buffalo went a different route.

Josh Allen would finish the game passing for 264 passing yards on 24-for-46 passing and a delightful 69.5 passer rating.

When the game was on the line, Allen made some of the worst decisions anyone has ever made on a football field. Ever. With less than two minutes left and the Bills down a field goal, Allen lost 41 yards in two plays by taking atrocious sacks.

The Buffalo Bills aren’t in the playoffs because Josh Allen was trash. That hurt my tiny little heart to type but both statistically and visually, my man was embarrassing.

I can’t tell the story of that AFC Wildcard game without mentioning two of the dumbest fucking plays I’ve ever seen in a football game.

Josh Allen is a sociopath.

He really chucked the ball 40 yards downfield into double coverage to his FULLBACK, the smallest man on the field who has no business participating in the vertical pass game. Did you see that fullback leap for the jump ball and not even leave the ground?

It’s really hard to see these decisions and continue rooting for this bum every week.

But it got worse.

A 20-yard rush almost totally negated by Josh blindly lateralling the ball over his head to no one and thankfully the ball was punched out of bounds before he cost the Bills their chance of tying the game.

I will still die on the hill that Josh Allen is the most intriguing quarterback in the NFL. Every single time he takes a snap, it’s a mystery box of a play. Anything can happen. He can break a 40 yard run. He can catch a touchdown pass. Or he can close his eyes and rocket a jump ball to a 5’9 fullback in double coverage.

As far as quarterbacking goes, I can’t pretend like he knows what he’s doing. Josh Allen was LAST in completion percentage this season. He’s so wildly inaccurate, which should surprise no one because he couldn’t complete passes in junior college playing against future gym teachers and account managers.

Josh Allen isn’t good at throwing a football but in 2020 there’s more to being a starting quarterback than just passing. Or at least that’s what I’m going to continue telling myself. List off alllll the quarterbacks better than Josh Allen real quick. A majority of the QBs you’re thinking of didn’t make the playoffs. Joshy did. Eat my shorts.

[Leonardo Dicaprio voice] IM NOT LEAVING.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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