I Absolutely HATE That Caitlyn Jenner Won The Arthur Ashe Courage Award

Earlier this week, Caitlyn Jenner won the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the 2015 ESPY’s and the world erupted. Everyone and their mothers has an opinion about this. Here’s my opinion: I HATE that she won the award because now I have to read all of your stupid opinions about it. When I hop onto my laptop, all I want to do is scroll through cute puppy photos and Pixar fan theories. Now thanks to ESPN, I’m stuck scrolling through post after post about how The Arthur Ashe Courage Award went to the wrong cat.

Who gives a FUCK about the ESPYs? It’s an ‘award’ show that is basically centered around blowing Peyton Manning and LeBron James for 3 hours and emotional video packages that straight up force you to donate to the Jimmy V cancer fund. It’s a telethon. Why are we complaining about telethons now? So what are we actually outraged about?

People are losing their minds because they think Noah Galloway deserved the award. Noah Galloway lost an arm and a leg in Iraq and was the runner up for the award. Except for the fact that’s bullshit. There are no runner ups for those awards. There aren’t ‘nominees’ for the courage award. One person is chosen and that’s it. Caitlyn Jenner didn’t beat anyone out for the award. She was chosen and that’s that.

Let’s all stop trying to define what ‘courage’ is and who’s more courageous than the next person. Yes, I’m fully aware of the level of ‘courage’ it takes to fight in Iraq. Caitlyn Jenner winning the award does not in any way diminish that. How about you take a moment to text everyone in your phone contacts and tell them you’re becoming a woman. That shit takes courage.

“All Bruce had to do was put on a dress to win an award” is a foolish/not funny joke I keep reading. In 1976 Bruce Jenner was the greatest athlete on the PLANET. He was the baddest motherfucker. They just don’t put any one on the cover of a Wheaties box. He defined masculinity. Do you know how much balls it takes to be the MAN and then publicly come out and say you’re becoming a woman. Pretty courageous actually.

I get it if you think that everything done by the Kardashians is a scheme to raise their own brand. Caitlin Jenner has a new show coming out and this was great publicity for it, no doubt. No 65 year old man on Earth would morph their body, their entire identity, their athletic legacy, just for a reality show on E network. Save your cynical Illuminati nonsense. (Also if anyone in the Illuminati is reading this, I’d love a spot on the roster. I can like, I don’t know, totally be funny sometimes. Um, I can like, bring refreshments to the meetings. I don’t know, whatever you need just let me know.)

I don’t want to speak for the transgender community and honestly, until Caitlyn Jenner arrived, no one was speaking for them. They were punchlines to jokes. They were ostracized and misunderstood. Do you know how many times I’ve overheard idiots at a bar attempting to explain to each other the difference between ‘transgender’ and ‘transsexual’. It’s mind numbing how little we know about an entire group of people.

There’s a 2011 study that says people who undergo sex reassignment surgery are 19 times more likely to commit suicide. 41% of trans people attempt suicides. Jesus. If Caitlyn Jenner winning a pointless award on a telethon prevents just one of those people from trying to take their own life then we should be celebrating. Let’s face it, parades suck. No need to fucking rain on them. Let Caitlyn Jenner do her thing thing. Stop trying to argue who’s more courageous. Oh, and seriously donate to the Jimmy V fund.




Sidenote: Hey Caitlyn, honey. Sweetheart. You gotta work on that voice, baby girl. It’s not a good look.






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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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