howard schultz

Howard Schultz Is An Asshole Determined To Ruin The 2020 Election

The Former CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, announced that he was running for president last week which is a statement that should be completely ignored considering that this man couldn’t even keep his basketball team in Seattle because it was hard so if he can’t manage an NBA team, there are zero reasons to believe that he can run an entire country.

But if we know that, he knows that. Howard Schultz isn’t actually trying to win this election. After all of his public appearances and speeches following his announcement that he’s running, he seems to have one central concern: throw a billion dollar wrench in the election.

I’m not even sure you have to read between the lines here. Schultz is very clearly saying ‘I’m here to tank the election and make sure Trump wins again.’

Every Democratic candidate thus far has brought in a tax plan that would all pretty much take money out of the rich people’s pockets. Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Kamala Harris are all running with the idea of taxing the wealthy significantly to help redistribute the money they are hoarding back to the rest of America.

Howard Schultz’s plan is to run as an Independent on some vague bullshit tax plan that leaves the rich people alone and the hope is to split votes with the Democrats thus leaving the door wide open for Donald Trump to win again and to maintain the status quo for the 1% for at least 4 more years.

Donald Trump’s tax cut in 2017 lowered the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21% and only taxed domestic earnings allowing companies international profits to go completely untouched.

And dumb poor Republicans were like ‘awesome. This will surely save the economy. Give CEOs even MORE money and we all know CEOs are the most generous humans on Earth so naturally, that means all of our salaries will raise too. Oh, and now that they removed taxes on international profits, CEOs can move even more jobs to other countries because it’s cheaper and make even more money and *picks up phone* what’s that, boss? You’re moving the plant to Singapore? Awesome I always wanted to live—wait what? I’m fired? DAMN THOSE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS’. [end scene].

So naturally, Democrats are running with wild tax plans to punish the rich. That’s how politics go. The pendulum swings from the first black president to the most white one ever. The rich were given more riches and now they are doing whatever they can to keep in power the idiot who made them richer.

Howard Schultz is begginggg for just enough people to waste their vote on him instead of Elizabeth Warren or anyone with the plans of Robin Hooding the 1% while another Republican sneaks in through the backdoor behind him.

Get Howard Schultz the fuuuuuuuck out of here.

 

 

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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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