How To Handle Jayson Tatum’s Success As a Celtics Hater

This February, Jayson Tatum is averaging 30.5 points per game, 7.5 rebounds on 51% shooting, 50% from the 3-point line and 78% from the line.

I’m fucking sick.

On Wednesday night, the Boston Celtics defeated the Utah Jazz 114-103 on the road improving their record on the season to 41-17. Jayson Tatum dropped 33 on Utah’s head leading to his 11th 30-point game this season which ties him for 4th most 30-point games by a Celtics player in their first 3 career seasons. He’s tied with Larry fucking Bird. Awesome.

Jayson Tatum made his first All-Star team this season and before I could get any jokes off about him being the worst All-Star on the team, he decided to have an MVP caliber February as he’s carried Boston on his back. The Celtics are one game behind the Toronto Raptors for the 2nd seed in the East which I will openly say I did not see coming.

Do you understand the joy I felt as the Boston Celtics refused to trade Jayson Tatum’s bitch ass for Kawhi Leonard and Anthony Davis—two far superior players? We used to be able to say with complete confidence that De’Aaron Fox and Donovan Mitchell—two players drafted behind him in 2017—were exponentially better players and the Celtics blew it.

Now one can make the argument that he’s the second best player in the Eastern Conference. I am certainly not making that case as I believe Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid are better on both ends of the court, but I’ve seen some rumblings of this idea and if he keeps dropping 30 regularly then that chatter is only going to get louder.

His handle was never this clean. He’s always been able to get off a midrange jumper but Tatum is getting to the rim whenever he pleases. There hasn’t been any defender this month that can keep Tatum in front of them.

My stummy hurts.

As a Knicks fan, this is disgusting. He was supposed to potentially be as good as Paul Pierce which I was totally okay with. Pierce could get buckets but until Kevin Garnett arrived, it didn’t really matter. He was never good enough to lead the Celtics on his own.

Jayson Tatum might be better than Paul Pierce already and I’m frightened. I can’t have a decade of Celtics dominance and seeing them play on national TV three times a week while Julius Randle dribbles the ball off his feet and Bobby Portis strangles a referee. SOS.

All we can hope is that the last shot ends up in Gordon Hayward’s hands and he bends the front of the rim with a brick. As it was written.








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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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