How To Fix The Los Angeles Lakers

The Los Angeles Lakers signed LeBron James and suddenly thought that would propel their awful team into the Western Conference Finals even though LeBron is 34-years old and only signed with the Lakers so that he could pitch more TV shows.

So let’s quickly recap what happened:

  • Finished 10th in the Western Conference with a 37-45 record.
  • LeBron James averaged 27.4 points, 8.5 rebounds and 8.3 assists.
  • Kyle Kuzma averaged 18.7 points and Brandon Ingram averaged 18.3.
  • Lonzo Ball wore busted sneakers and suffered legs injuries all season.
  • Rajon Rondo punched Chris Paul in the mouth.
  • Magic Johnson quit on the last day of the season without telling anyone in the organization.
  • Luke Walton was fired.

How to fix the Los Angeles Lakers:

  1. Remove Rob Pelinka and hire a team president who has no prior relationship with the team. Rob Pelinka signed Kentavious Caldwell Pope to a 1-year $12 million deal and preached about KCP like he was Moses saving the Lakers. KCP averaged 11 points in 24 minutes and made more money than Kemba Walker last season.

There is no indication that Rob Pelinka knows what he’s doing and his biggest disadvantage is that as a former agent, he made adversaries with most GMs across the league which means if the Lakers want to make a deal with another team, they’re going to need to give up more than necessary because people want to stick it to him.

The Lakers need to stop signing guys like Magic Johnson and people who used to wear Lakers uniforms with no actual qualifications. There is no reason why David Griffin signed with New Orleans and not LA.

Get a real GM.

2. Hire a head coach that isn’t in LeBron’s iPhone contacts. There are reports that Ty Lue met with the organization already and is the front runner to become the new head coach. Why?

Yes, he won a championship in 2016 and subsequently went to the Finals the next two years on LeBron’s back but did we forget that in 2018 Lue had to take a leave of absence because he was having stress-induced chest pains?

If he couldn’t handle the pressures of coaching in Cleveland, where is the evidence that this man is going to thrive in Los Angeles? He’s going to have a heart attack by the all-star break.

Stop hiring LeBron’s friends because once LeBron leaves, you’re stuck with having to send direct deposits to guys who have no idea what to do without LeBron in the building.

3. Sign Kyrie Irving. Earlier this season, Kyrie told reporters that he called up LeBron and patched things up with his former teammate. This season, Kyrie learned what it takes to lead a team and it appears as though he wants nooothing to do with that responsibility. The Boston Celtics hate each other and it’s mostly his fault.

It would be shocking if he re-signed there so let’s not rule out the idea of a reunion with LeBron in LA. Kyrie, like LeBron, is working on movie projects on the low. Moving to Los Angeles to hang out in Hollywood and play basketball on the side is the new wave. Kyrie to LA confirmed.

4. Trade for Kevin Love. Fuck it. Run it allll the way back. Last July, Kevin Love signed a 4-year extension to stay in Cleveland, which was strange but after the whirlwind of playing with LeBron, I suppose it makes sense that this man simply wanted some level of financial security.

Love makes $30 million a year until 2023 but the Lakers potentially could have up to $40 million in cap space so if they can convince Kyrie to take a littleee less than the max and settle for around $30 mil like Love then that would give the Lakers about $10 million to play with.

If Los Angeles puts Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram and Mo Wagner in the deal for Kevin Love then they’ll be able to afford LeBron, Love and Kyrie. They might also need to throw in their upcoming lottery pick but there’s no one they could draft at 11 that would be more impactful than Kevin Love.

They can also keep Kyle Kuzma or whatever. If that’s what they’re into or whatever. Shrug. Or trade him. It/he doesn’t matter.

Golden State who?!

I just saved the Los Angeles Lakers. Thank me later.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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