albert maruna

Guy Arrested For Trying To Seduce an Undercover Cop With Chicken Alfredo and a Sprite

What Happened?

An Ashtabula County man who tried to seduce an underage victim with Chicken Alfredo and Sprite will serve seven days in the county jail.

Albert Maruna, now 23, was arrested in an Austintown sex sting back in December.

He thought he was talking to a 15-year-old boy online, but it was actually an undercover Austintown police officer.

Maruna arranged to meet the officer in Austintown. He planned to bring lubricant, Sprite and Chicken Alfredo to the date.

(NBC)

 

Albert Maruna was trying to have himself a night when alllll of a sudden the police swarmed around him and he didn’t even get to open his Sprite.

 

This is entrapment, right?

Undercover sting operations should be illegal. Free Albert. My man was planning a romantic evening of chicken alfredo and what I imagine to be a room temperature Sprite with a match he connected with online and now he’s behind bars.

Dating. Is. Hard.

Do you know how hard it is to plan the first date? I’d probably be married with children if I had Albert’s chicken alfredo move. That’s what romance is.

One time I went out with a girl and we got cheese quesadillas. Not even chicken. Just cheese and tortilla. Needless to say, there wasn’t a second date. It didn’t help that we ordered waters too. A couple Sprites would’ve loosened things up.

Free. Albert.

 

sidenote: 7 days in jail for bringing lube to bang a 15-year old boy doesn’t seem like enough days in jail. Maybe a life sentence? Is that harsh? I guess I just have a small zero tolerance policy when it comes to banging children.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Albert Maruna deserves justice. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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