Greg Bird is the American MVP, and no one can tell me otherwise. I know I exaggerate occasionally. If you’ve read anything on this site, then I understand it may be hard to take me seriously, but Greg Bird is the MVP. Please believe and understand this.
Following a mysterious injury to Mark Teixeira, Greg Bird was called up to the big leagues on August 13th. Ever since that day, he’s been dragging the Yankees straight to the playoffs. With 10 home runs and 28 RBI’s in only 34 games, he’s the only consistent bat in the lineup.
I could watch his home run swing all day. Actually, I might. Join me.
Who else is going to be MVP? Mike Trout? BUAHAHAHA. No. Okay, cool, he’s played the entire season and currently has 40 home runs which is a crazy amount for the post-steroid era. Well, he’s on the Angels, and if the playoffs started today, they’d be watching them. No losers.
Josh Donaldson? The Blue Jays would be in last place if it weren’t for David Price and Troy Tulowitzki. Plus, I don’t think any man who rocks both a man bun and a mohawk at the same time deserves any attention or recognition at all. If anything, he deserves scorn and ridicule for his lame ass hair choices. Let’s not encourage those actions.
Greg Bird is carrying the New York Yankees on his gigantic eyebrows, and he’s basically the only thing keeping them in the playoffs. The only other player in MLB who is worthy of MVP votes is the GOAT, Stephen Drew. Otherwise, Greg Bird is the AL MVP, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Edited by Morgan Mandriota.
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