We’ve all waited 7 years to see what went down in The Spoils of War. Daenerys went full Targaryen and rode Drogon and the Dothraki through the Lannisters like she promised the second she was mounted by Khal Drago in season 1.
But before we dig into that sequence, let’s first talk about how Bran is the worst character and I wish he was at High Garden eating that dragon fire because he is ruining the season of reunions. Arya Stark finally returns to Winterfell, a move by her that actually makes no sense unless you account for the fact that there are only 9 episodes in the series left so they had to completely bail on her hero’s journey and send her to fight White Walkers because she had bread with Hot Pie that apparently erased all of her previous motives and desires and rewired her main goal to be returning home.1
Jon Snow is out here mackin, taking Daenerys to his home turf aka a cave. There is nothing Jon Snow loves more than humping in caves. Stick to what you do best. Game recognize game, brother. Wouldn’t be shocked if he wrote those ‘Children of the Forest’ drawings himself just to get her alone in there.
But most importantly, Bronn is back to being Bronn. Didn’t realize how much I missed him until he was almost burned alive and cut in half by a Dothraki. Bronn dominates the motto ‘get rich or die tryin’ harder than anyone in Westeros. I’d watch him and Jaime rattled on a battlefield all day every day.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m #TeamLannister forever and Jaime was nearly lit UP. What if he was successful in speaking Khaleesi in that final scene? Would he have won the Game of Thrones? We’ll never know. All I know is that war scene made the Battle of the Bastards look like a Samwell Tarley shit cleaning montage.
Dragons are undefeated in Game of Thrones.
- run-on sentences champion since the 90’s. ↵