David Freese Was Suicidal When He Played For The St. Louis Cardinals

“I was depressed. I was always depressed,” Freese told Nightengale of his time in St. Louis. “I never tried to do anything to myself, but I didn’t care about my life. I didn’t care what would happen to me. It was almost to a point that if this is my time, so be it?

“And there was definitely a lack of care about my well-being at certain times, for sure.”

After three drunk-driving incidents, including a December 2009 arrest following his first season as a Cardinal, Freese was traded to the Los Angeles Angels, which former teammate Matt Carpenter called “the best thing that could have happened to him,” and he’s since married and laid off alcohol, while undergoing counseling for his depression and anxiety issues.

The changes have apparently made Freese play this season with a “rejuvenated heart,” according to Nightengale’s piece, which has led him to a .326/.453/.535 slash line with the Pirates.

“I used to be so afraid what would happen to me after baseball,” Freese explained. “I was getting older, watching other people, and it was like, ‘Man, all of these people have their lives together. People were passing me by.’

“That’s all changed. I’m confident that when I retire I’m going to be a loving, great husband. Hopefully a kick-ass father. And a guy who doesn’t booze.

“Things are just so different now.”



Yikes. When I was a kid I always dreamed of hitting the winning home run and earning a World Series MVP Award. I wanted to be a hero as I jog around the bases wearing Yankees pinstripes as everyone in the stands losses their shit celebrating the biggest home run ever. Shades of Bucky Dent.

But apparently that didn’t do it for Freese who was raised in Missouri and grew up a St. Louis Cardinals fan. The pressure almost ended his life. As someone who spends 99% of their time depressed and 1% of their time on the cusp of depression, I totally understand Freese here.

Luckily he ended up in Pittsburgh and we avoided a potential tragedy. This is the first time in history that someone’s job forced them to move to Pittsburgh and their depression actually went away. Literally first time ever.

This just goes to show that St. Louis really is a shitty place to live. No wonder the Rams went back to Los Angeles.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re glad that David Freese got his life back on track. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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