darlene snell

Darlene Snell on Ozark is the Ultimate Wifey Goal

After watching season 2 of Ozark, one thing really stuck out for me and that’s how great of a wife Darlene Snell was. Season 1 ended with her blowing off the head of Camilo Del Rio, the face of the Mexican Cartel, just moments after they struck a deal to run the Snell’s drugs through their new river casino.

At the time, it seemed like a dumb move. Becoming public enemy number one of the Mexican cartel because you couldn’t handle your temper isn’t the ideal position to find yourself in but Darlene was right, they came into her house and disrespected her.

She did what she had to do.

Yes, she appears a bit irrational at times but what you call ‘crazy’, I call ‘passion’. Isn’t that what you want in a relationship? A woman that will burn the world to the ground when she feels like the family is being taken advantage of.

Sure, her decision to go behind Jacob’s back and add fentanyl into their drug supply to spite the cartel was misguided but it was a move out of passion. Sometimes you need bae to be a wildcard. It makes the relationship more interesting. If that means people accidentally OD and it brings the FBI sniffing around your backyard then so be it. That’s love.

I mean look at the flashback of the first time the Snells met at that diner. Darlene came in HOT and saved Jacob from a boring life of mediocrity. That’s the dream. You’re on a date with the ‘safe’ girl and then all of a sudden an attractive blond girl sits down in your booth and tells you to meet her outside, you’re going to run outside and drop that safe chick.

My goal is to be with a girl that everyone has to constantly tell me to get under control. I want to be terrified of what she might do next. Even to my last breath after she poisons my tea moments before I’m about to stab her with the kitchen shears.

Plus all she wants to do is be a caring mother. She has so much love to give. How am I to tell her how to control herself when she just wants to continue MY family’s legacy by raising a baby to pass everything on to. I’m always thinking too short term. Darlene has her mind generations ahead. Just like Steve Jobs.

Darlene Snell is exactly what I want my future (ex) wife to be. Life is boring. Find you a girl that will get you shot in the shoulder by the Mexican cartel.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’d wife up Darlene Snell. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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