Sooo, meet this woman who is claiming to be the woman the made Firework. You really think some hair dye will distract us from the fact that you don’t have the same face you had like, 6 months ago?
Here is Katy Perry blonde. Something we’ve seen plenty of times in the past.
We all recognize this popular figure in American music.
Here is the new Katy Perry.
Ooookay. It’s pretty wild that salon dyes your hair and alters your face but that’s what celebrity money pays for, I reckon.
I have thoughts about this weird woman and very few of them are positive. When it comes to music, time won’t be kind to her contributions or overall lack thereof.
She didn’t come close to ever reaching the popularity of her contemporaries like Rihanna, Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga. No one’s favorite song was sung by Katy. She didn’t make anyone’s favorite album. Maybe Katy will get the call to be in the Netflix sequel, A Star is Born 2, with Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond. Fingers crossed.
I Kissed a Girl came out 11 years ago and it feels like it came out 111 years ago. She is one of the highest earning musical artists of all time topping Jay-Z and Adele yet when the dust settles on her career, everyone will agree that Jay-Z and Adele changed the music industry forever while Katy simply existed within the music industry.
She fell off the map when she attempted to ride Migos’s wave and instead made an absolute fool of herself.
Katy Perry was 32 years acting like a weirdo and culture vulturing. At least when Miley Cyrus was doing all of that, we could at least use the excuse that she was a child actress trying to discover herself. Katy Perry was a grown ass woman pretending to be ‘hip with the jive’.
So it should be to no one’s surprise that her face is brand new. I don’t know much about Katy Perry personally but all of her behavior makes it apparent that she doesn’t know much about Katy Perry personally either.
Damn, this was going to just be a quick 200-word article making fun of Katy new face and I really sat down and over-analyzed her impact on American culture. I hate me.
- Breaking Down Jay-Z’s Nasty Partnership With The NFL
- Enough of This Nonsense, Here is the Solution To The Dallas Cowboys Dak Prescott/Ezekiel Elliot/Amari Cooper Contract Situation
- Chris Cuomo Threatening To Throw A Man Down Stairs Because He Called Him ‘Fredo’ Is The Perfect Example That All Old White Men Are Trash
- Jeffrey Epstein Should’ve Killed Himself 66 Years Ago
- NBA 2K20 Just Tricked Me Into Buying Their Garbage Video Game