Cam Newton Is Going To Make Patriots Fans Forget Who Tom Brady Is

Cam Newton fell into the laps of the best organization in sports as he is now a member of the New England Patriots because of course he is.

So there is it. Cam Newton has signed a 1-year $7.5 million deal to step into a ready made Super Bowl contender and instantly win the starting job from fellow Auburn alum and future third string QB, Jarrett Stidham.

The Patriots get a Top 10 quarterback that is a massive improvement from the bum they had last season and Cam’s contract is $18 million cheaper than Brady’s. He’s making Marcus Mariota money will far more talent.

For some reason, we were lead to believe that Cam’s career was over following a shoulder injury in 2018 and a foot injury that kept him out of the 2019 season. He injured two entirely separate parts of his body and was ruled out professionally.

Ben Roethlisberger led the league in interceptions in 2018 then came back the next season and blew out his throwing elbow yet people automatically assume that this overweight 38-year old sexual predator will just march the Steelers to the playoffs.

Cam Newton is 31-years old with two unique injuries and the Jacksonville Jaguars would rather roll with Mike Glennon—winner of significantly fewer MVP awards and playoff games than Cam Newton.

So when you remove health concerns, Cam is clearly one of the best in the league. There is a strange belief that he’s some sort of distraction because he dresses weird in post-game interviews or isn’t always kind to reporters but Belichick isn’t kind to reporters either and that doesn’t seem to distract his team.

Wait a minute. There is no way this sport threw away and discarded a 31-year old former MVP that led his team to a Super Bowl because he was injured just like literally every NFL player ever and has a bit of a personality. I wonder why a league that has a team named after a racial slur for Native Americans and blackballed a player for protesting police brutality would treat Cam Newton differently. So odd.

Jay Cutler was a dick his entire career. His teammates constantly called him out for being a bad and nonchalant leader. And the Miami Dolphins literally pulled him out of retirement to come lose games for him. Paid him $10 million to go 6-8. And he was never as good as Cam Newton.

Football is the best.

Cam Newton is going to dominate the running game with Sony Michel as they both just lower their heads and demolish opposing teams. Offensive coordinator, Josh McDaniels, can actually call plays that moves the quarterback out of the pocket instead of having Tom Brady just sitting there like a crash test dummy.

So congrats to the New England Patriots for stealing Cam Newton and now having the second-best black quarterback in the NFC East behind Josh Allen. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Meanwhile Tom Brady is limping into the 2020 season in Tampa Bay and there’s no way with his age and the amount of Coronavirus in Florida that any of us should feel confident that he’ll make it out healthy. But at least he has Rob Gronkowski to visit him in the ICU.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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