giancarlo stanton

Apparently Giancarlo Stanton is Dealing With a Hamstring Injury Soooo The 2018 Season is Over and Nothing Matters


What Happened?

Yup, the 2018 season is crashing and burning at an alarming rate as now it appears as though Giancarlo Stanton is nursing a hamstring injury so the rails are off. It’s over. Yankee Stadium is under water. The Bronx has sunk into the Atlantic Ocean.

Aaron Judge doesn’t have a wrist. Gary Sanchez’s groin hurts so much that he’s still walking to first base on that game-ending double play. Clint Frazier’s brain hurts. JA Happ has a disease from The Middle Ages. Jordan Montgomery’s elbow is on an operating table. Jacoby Ellsbury is sitting next to me on my futon watching Sharp Objects right now.

Now Giancarlo Stanton has a hamstring injury and we have to watch Shane Robinson attempt to bunt using his face. It’s tough to say ‘hey, the Yankees are still 25 games over .500’ when I’m pretty sure they haven’t won a baseball game since May.

What’s next for these Yankees?

CC Sabathia and Luis Severino have no idea how to pitch anymore which is a problem considering that the Yankees starting rotation has been completely undone by the fall of Sonny Gray, who will now join what used to be the best bullpen in baseball and has now transformed into a Bryce Harper’s dad in the Home Run Derby throwing pitches either directly down the middle of the plate or directly at batters in the box.

Giancarlo Stanton is easily the best hitter on this team as every single time a baseball makes contact with his bat and shoots like a laser directly into centerfield. Hamstring injuries are scary. They don’t really go away after playing baseball for 3 hours and then jumping in an ice bath. He could completely pull that thing with one sprint to first base.

So what’s next? SHANE ROBINSON SZN.

There is nothing I want more than to see Shane Robinson charge the mound only to get picked up by his ears and twirled in a circle like a little girl spinning around holding her teddy bear. If the Yankees are going to lose every game from now, we might as well see Shane Robinson get his face knocked in like Rondy Rousey against Holly Holm.

Cancel. The. Season.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think the 2018 New York Yankees season is officially over. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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